Sunday, August 23, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Sooner Than I Expected

This afternoon I spent time with Daniela & Beau at the swimming hole again. This is day two of not hiding my pouch and instead just taping it up and taking off my shirt. It feels good to be shaking off the weight of my concern about it being seen. And this ease I am having with it is actually showing up sooner than I expected.

Wow. I just looked out the window and the sun is shining through the rain. Quite beautiful.

Anyway, cooling off in the creek is such a privilege during this little heatwave we're having. And the heatwave is the reason for the change. I just couldn't keep going down to the swimming hole covered in sweat without getting wet and I wasn't going to swim in my shirt to hide my pouch. That would be like someone going to a nudist beach and being the only one walking around in their underwear. I think you end up standing out more that way.

Yeah, a bandage connected to my abdomen appears a bit weird, but like I did, most get over it pretty quick or wonder what it is but just don't bother to ask. The kids are the ones who stare at it and wonder what the hell it is. To tell you the truth, it's actually easier that way.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A Little Freedom with Irrigation

This evening I finally got the courage up to take my shirt off and submerge myself in the creek. The last time I floated in water was two years ago in the pool at the Gerson Clinic in Mexico. (For those of you wondering how a chlorinated pool could possibly be okay for someone on Gerson Therapy, you are on the right track - the clinic has a hydrogen peroxide pool.)

So, why would I need courage to take my shirt off? It's just where I am with my body right now. I am happy to tell anyone in the world I have a colostomy, but having people see a pouch hanging from my abdomen has been difficult for me, especially during the days when I was not regular and there was never a moment of certainty. I also folded up the pouch and taped it up so it occurred less as a pouch and more as "cover" of some sort. I have always known I would eventually not care if people saw it, but I didn't know when that day would be. It seems to be on its way. No, no. It's not here yet. It was after dusk when I went to the swimming hole. I played it safe.

And another factor that has helped is that I have been successfully irrigating for the last two weeks. And in case you forgot, irrigation is nothing more than a daily water enema that literally flushes me out for the day. Once I am certain my large intestine is trained, I will be able to wear something along the lines of a wax band aid over my stoma. It will cover the stoma since I can't find a small enough party hat.

Anyway, since I began irrigating I have had no need for a pouch. I still wear one as an "insurance policy." My surgeon made it clear there is no guarantee my pouch will remain empty throughout the day for quite some time. Just because it has remained empty thus far doesn't mean things won't change. Apparently certain foods can cause irregularity as well as...well...we all know what beer can do, should I begin to drink beer again. So, we'll see. But the bottom line [he-he] is that today was a good day.

I think I'll get back into the water tomorrow.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Cardio-Pulmonary Function Test

My Cardio-Pulmonary Function Test has been rescheduled for August 21st because my INR (international normalized ratio => used to determine blood coagulation) is too low.

Ah, well....