Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Negative Scan Results
Today was a great day. I saw my Oncologist and he informed me that my PET Scan was negative. Then he informed me that I no longer need to be on Coumadin effectively immediately, which allowed for two procedures to be scheduled: out-patient surgery to remove the port-o-cath from my chest & a colonoscopy, both of which were postponed until I was off anti-coagulants. So, not only did I receive good news about about my scan my I am finally able to get a little closer to the end of this chapter. Or so I hope.
I felt no anxiety about the PET Scan because I believe there will be no reemergence of cancer in my body. However, I did experience a surprising, yet very short moment of anxiety while I sat across from my Oncologist as he looked on the computer for my scan results. I was convinced the results would be negative, but for the five seconds I waited to hear it form him directly, I must admit my stomach fluttered with anxiety.
The negative scan results were good news. Being told my port-removal surgery and colonoscopy were going to be scheduled was great news. I am tired of having a foreign body (the port-o-cath) attached to my chest directly under my skin. And the colonoscopy can spot pre-cancerous polyps, which I would be surprised to have this soon following chemotherapy, but could still exist. And obviously, I (or anyone else for that matter!) would want them removed. Really, for me the colonoscopy seems like the final step in knowing without a doubt that I am 100% cancer-free.
And that brings me to the emotional side of this. I am still not out of woods. Physically, I still have a significant amount of physical therapy before I can be back to normal. And emotionally I am also still finding my way back to "normalcy." It seems it's still a bit of a roller coaster ride. I imagine as time goes by I will return somewhat to "normal." And for all I know, "normal" may not be what it once was which is fine too.