That being said, I've been anticipating the upcoming systemic treatment, wondering how my body will feel on December 14th and the weeks to follow, once I start the systemic chemotherapy treatment. Initially, I stopped scheduling any coaching sessions and planned on scheduling no musical performances. And then a friend supported me in distinguishing how I had put the cart before the horse. Once I noticed that, I scheduled coaching sessions and I'm in the process of booking a couple gigs if there are available dates where I prefer to perform.
However, I noticed I was still doing it, if not with scheduling my life, at least with my general attitude about "how it's going to go." The reality is I really don't know how it's going to go, so my intention is a pleasant and joyful experience of each moment. Should life circumstances show up otherwise, I'll manage that when the time comes. But either way, the side-effects have started.