Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I am thrilled to tell you that it seems I am 100% free from my morphine DTs. I have not had any withdrawals since Saturday. Pretty cool, huh?
And I can now say with confidence that any concerns anyone has about my addiction and the possibility of my going back on morphine, can rest easy. I can say with certainty that it has not even crossed my mind to take morphine at this point. The addiction was 100% physical - not at all mental.
I also had an opportunity to be able to talk about my use of morphine addiction with a fellow chemo patient today. She's an elderly woman who has serious reservations about taking morphine. The reason? Fear of addiction. It's amazing how powerful an impact addiction can have on a person - even those in a great deal of pain, like the woman I spoke to at the clinic. She even acknowledged the absurdity of her decision, given that she is Stage IV, and at this point, receives chemotherapy treatment in order to extend her life for a little while longer. The doctors do not believe it will disappear.
So, I received my day one chemotherapy treatment today - #4 out of 12. I am now one day short of being one third of the way through my regimen. And I am thrilled to say I was given a different anti-nausea pre-med: Reglan - which also provides hiccup relief. And the result? For the first time in my history of chemotherapy treatment, I did not immediately fall asleep from an anti-nausea pre-med. I actually hung out and talked with my friend Jerry and the staff throughout the entire treatment.
And the real breakthrough is that I actually drove back home after the treatment. But rest easy - I was not pushing myself or being careless. I drove because I felt great. Jerry and I even stopped at a classic Upstate New York style diner for dinner because I was starving. And again, this was for the first time in the history of my chemotherapy treatment - to eat anything following chemo. Today was a great day.