I Am Back on the Chemotherapy and Happy to Be

I am feeling well - cold symptoms gone - and I have returned to chemotherapy. Day one and two both consisted of Folfiri infusions in the clinic and at the end of both days I am sent home with a 5-FU pumped attached to my port. Today is day three, so I go in to have my 5-FU pump removed. I am a little tired and a little dizzy. I am also experiencing hiccups and heartburn like last month, but I am not nauseous so far and that's a plus.

I will also meet with Dr. John Vakios today, the new radiologist at Guthrie in Sayre, to discuss the possibility of additional radiation treatments. If he recommends more radiation, which I think he may, I will likely obtain a second opinion. My decision to get a second opinion or not will be heavily on whether or not he has dealt with a case such as mine - where there is no longer a traceable amount of cancer in my body.

I must confess that getting a second opinion in another hospital where my insurance is accepted sounds a bit exhausting to me, but I keep reminding myself there are dangers if I do additional radiation treatments as well as if I don't. Bottom line is I will have a better idea after I speak with Dr. Vakios this afternon

Cold Again

I have found myself with another cold. And I'm very much hoping I will be overwith by Wednesday. I have got to get back to the Hematology Department and receive my chemotherapy treatment. I'm scheduled to be there on Wednesday November 5th and like I've said before - the sooner I get back to my treatment, the sooner my treatment will be complete.

To tell you the truth, I have had one heck of a pleasant chemo-free month. I've got some things done around the house and yard on the days I have felt well. It feels so good to actually be useful. And this Autumn has been so gorgeous, I have definitely taken advantage of it - walking as much as I can - again - when I am feeling well enough to do so.

In the mean time, I will continue to eat lots of miso soup with plenty of sea weed in it. It's a wonderful natural cold medicine.

It Really Is Gone

I received an email reply from Dr. Allerton today and he ordered me to post-pone my chemotherapy for another week, so that I can get over this cold. Part of me is absolutely thrilled that the chemo has been postponed again. Any day I don't experience the side effects of chemotherapy is a good day. And I will try to enjoy my chemo-free time without too much guilt.

Yeah. I find myself feeling a little guilty because I am so thrilled to be free of the chemo side-effects. Then, I give myself permission to enjoy this temporary break from chemo. There's plenty of chemo drugs available to me as soon as I feel better.

And, it's been nearly three weeks now and I still don't feel so great. The chemo definitely impacted my ability to bounce back from the cold. I'm crossing my fingers that this cold breaks soon. The chemo has to be out of me - at least significantly enough so that I can get past this nonsense.

I'm also grateful that my body was determined to be free of any traceable cancer. That makes it a little easier to not do the chemo at the moment. It's not like the cancerous tumor is still in me.

Man. That just made me burst into tears. I still can't believe it's gone. That stinking little tumor just wouldn't die. Well, not the way I wanted it to. Eventually it did die. But that's not what brings tears to my eyes. What brings tears to my eyes is that it really is gone.

Sometimes it's eerily quiet in my mind. I spent 17 months wondering if it was going to get worse - if I was going to get terrible news after a scan - waking up and remembering I had cancer - scared of the worst case scenario. I don't have those thoughts anymore. And on occasion I realize that is one of the things that is different from the way it was before. No more terrifying thoughts - a huge reason for all the quiet in my mind.

And I am no fool. Cancer has a recurrence rate. That is true. But today, there is no cancer in me and right now I don't think I can express what that feels like except to say that whatever are your greatest joys, that bring the most tears to run down your cheeks, that's about as close as I can come to giving you an idea of how I feel. And, I believe I am almost at the end of this journey - once the chemotherapy is complete in March.

I Was Mistaken

Man! My cold is definitely not gone. It definitely stresses me out to have this cold return. I shouldn't even say return. This cold has been lurking around my system for 2 1/2 weeks. I'll definitely get an email out to my doctor tomorrow and figure out what the plan is.

Feeling Better

My cold finally seems to be going away. I feel far more confident about my chemotherapy treatment on Wednesday now that I'm feeling better. Now if I can just get myself back on a normal sleep schedule.

I'm Back

In case you're wondering, I haven't posted much lately because I wanted to keep the WELCOME entry visible to any new readers who found out about the blog via this recent series of articles that we were fortunate to have in three different newspapers.

Well, it seems the blog address only made it into one of the three papers, so there weren't very many visitors. And just imagine - all this time I could have been filling your ears with multiple entries describing how miserable I've been feeling.

Just kidding!

Don't get me wrong. I genuinely appreciate the articles in the paper. In fact I'm thrilled about them - informing people about the benefit, my CD, and how happy we are about my positive progression throughout this diagnosis. Not to mention the opportunity to acknowledge all the wonderful people who have contributed to us in so many ways. It's just that my intention with this blog is to reach as many people as I possibly can. Which I will continue to do.

Anyway, I am happy to inform you that I have been taking regular walks with with Daniela and Beau (and Max our dog, too) and enjoying this absolutely gorgeous Autumn weather. It seems like a nice thing - going for beautiful Autumn walks. Actually, it's absolutely incredible. I was put on bed rest essentially the day I got to BajaNutricare: May 14, 2007. And when I ended my Gerson treatment and began traditional treatment, I was in too much pain to be anywhere but on the couch. And then there was surgery recovery. It's still a new thing to be going for walks. I LOVE IT.

Not to mention the turning of the leaves which is such a treat every year. Each years Autumn always comes as a surprise to me. Not like I'm surprised that it happens, but when I see the pinks and brilliant golds, I always wonder, "Were they that beautiful last year?" Just amazing.

So, I have had a cold which started on Sunday October 5th and was finally gone in time for the benefit. As a result, I also got to see our 10 year olds soccer game on Sunday [Tie: 3 to 3] and go shopping with Daniela & Beau which hasn't happened in...two years? It was definitely worth missing a little football for that. And now my cold is back. In my ears, nose & throat along with a side order of body ache. So, I emailed Dr. A (my chemo doctor) a request to post-pone my chemotherapy treatment until I'm feeling better. Shortly after, I received a call from his office letting me know my appointments for this week have been rescheduled for next week - same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.

I am quite relived. It was not a good feeling knowing I had an appointment for more chemotherapy while I'm feeling lousier than I have in the last few 10 days. That stuff takes a toll on the body and I'm in no condition for more right now. So, it's all rest, fluids, fluids, fluids and food. Man do I get hungry when I have a cold. And with a healthy serving of Tabasco Sauce on my evening snack,

thank you Kevin & Claire for a fantastic wedding favor

my sinuses are not as nearly stuffed up as they were a few hours ago.