Sunday, July 1, 2012

In the Clear or Perhaps Not So Clear

On Monday June 25th I had a post-treatment scan and the results were NEGATIVE! No sign of cancer, so no more treatment and the next scan is in three months.

I am greatly relieved. The day of the good news I was moved to tears, I was so overjoyed. And a couple of days later I was actually feeling depressed at the idea of returning to "normal" life. And a day after that, being the recipient of a good coaching session, I was back to feeling as normal as one might expect to feel. It became clear to me that without being clear about the direction I am headed, the mind will wander and create its own version. And the mind left to it's own devices, is not always a good thing. Considering all the concerns I have, it helps to now have some pretty clear direction. So now I am back to figuring out how to be a single father, how to manage my disappointment about being one, as well as how to deal with what I can't control when my boy's not with me. So it's back to that and all the other day to day things there are to manage.

After the good news, the friend that joined me for the trip celebrated with me by taking me to a ballgame at Yankee Stadium. It felt good to be in a stadium (relatively) full of people excited and joyful. I can use as much of that as there is to go around.


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8 comments:

  1. MariaBJuly 2, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    YAY YAY YAY YAY
    HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!

    I imagine my reactions would be similar. I think we get stuck in that "patient" identity, or maybe even stuck believing we are losing the fight, so I think it can be hard to abandon that mindset. But 2 days, that's a pretty awesome turn-around time!

    I am so happy for you. I know you are probably already milking every drop of life you can get out of every moment, but I'm thrilled that you can continue to do that without that shadow hanging over your head.

    Congratulations Bert!!!

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    Replies
    1. Robert SchollJuly 2, 2012 at 11:45 PM

      Thanks Maria. I hope you are doing well also. I should point out that I'm not free from the feeling of depression that followed the good news, but I am now incorporating the tools needed to reroute my thinking as it shows up.

      Delete
    2. CatherineJuly 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM

      Congratulations on your fantastic results! It can be weird to return to 'normal life', but I think that generally fades once we remember how awesome normal feels.

      Congrats again!

      Delete
    3. Robert SchollJuly 7, 2012 at 11:00 PM

      Maria that's a great bit of information there. Thank you for sending it to me.

      Delete
    4. Robert SchollJuly 7, 2012 at 11:04 PM

      Thanks Catherine. Be well.

      Delete
  2. MariaBJuly 7, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    Bert, have you heard of anti-angiogenic therapies and anti-angiogenic diet? Here's a TED talk about it, just in case you don't already know all about this :-)

    Hope you are having a good day.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/william_li.html

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  3. AnonymousJuly 7, 2012 at 4:57 PM

    Big up, my friend! Hope you'll have a great Grassroots.....starting a new job, so I will have to see you next time around. Give that boy a hug for me..!

    capnhook

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    Replies
    1. Robert SchollJuly 7, 2012 at 11:01 PM

      Thanks Cap'n! Will do. Send me an email to my Gmail account.

      Delete

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