I thought it appropriate to take a moment to thank the folks at Sweet Land Farm for all they've been doing for us lately. Sweet Land Farm is a C.S.A. (Community Supported Agriculture) in Trumansburg, NY and they have been delivering fresh produce right to our door. There are many other people and businesses we could thank for their generosity and we are incredibly grateful and indebted to them all. Considering the cost of the 20 pounds of fresh organic produce we go through a day, Sweet Land Farm has really been a huge contribution to us.
You will always be able to find a link to their website in the column on the right-hand side of this blog.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Update
I'm feeling much better today. No aching or lethargy - nothing. However, I'm still laying down all day (currently with the laptop) so my body has all the energy it needs.
I haven't yet mapped out how many days I have gone between flare-ups, but I will review soon. Dr. Melendez (BajaNutricare) said the frequency of flare-ups will begin to reveal a pattern - X amount of days passing between each major flare-up - so eventually I will be able to anticipate them (this is after I'm a few months into the treatment).
I haven't yet mapped out how many days I have gone between flare-ups, but I will review soon. Dr. Melendez (BajaNutricare) said the frequency of flare-ups will begin to reveal a pattern - X amount of days passing between each major flare-up - so eventually I will be able to anticipate them (this is after I'm a few months into the treatment).
Monday, July 30, 2007
Update
Daniela and I just watched the Team Hoyt video (for the 798th time!) and again, we cried just like we did the last 797 times. Few things lead me to dream about what we're capable of as humans and what we can make of this world if we choose to, the way that video and those two do.
Update/Reflection
I just got through day four of a sore throat. Today it's about 90% gone. I have been taking Olive Leaf Extract and Vitamin C to battle it and it seems to have done a great job. I used to be a huge advocate of echinacea - now I'm all about the Olive Leaf. Either way, it sure feels good to be feeling better.
Today I haven't felt the tumor or at least any tumor discomfort. It's such a relief. I've been feeling discomfort on and off a lot lately. Today I feel nothing. Having pain while having cancer growing in my body definitely gets me worrying about my health. No pain with cancer growing in my body leaves me feeling confident about the therapy. It's amazing how the mind can take off runnign when feelings in the body shift from good to bad (with nothing to base them on except for a little discomfort).
In the mean time, my body is doing exactly what it should be doing: creating an environment hostile to cancer and healing itself.
Today I haven't felt the tumor or at least any tumor discomfort. It's such a relief. I've been feeling discomfort on and off a lot lately. Today I feel nothing. Having pain while having cancer growing in my body definitely gets me worrying about my health. No pain with cancer growing in my body leaves me feeling confident about the therapy. It's amazing how the mind can take off runnign when feelings in the body shift from good to bad (with nothing to base them on except for a little discomfort).
In the mean time, my body is doing exactly what it should be doing: creating an environment hostile to cancer and healing itself.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Reflection
Yesterday I cried. I watched The Last Samurai in hopes that I might come into contact with whatever sadness is within me - that I might cry from watching the film. There is no question in my mind that crying releases toxins from the body and I spent way too many years totally disconnected from my natural human ability to cry. It was like it didn't even exist from so many years of avoiding it because "it wouldn't appear masculine." I used to rent the saddest movie I knew - "The Champ" - in the mid to late 90's just so I could get myself to cry. I could feel it in me, but I had no idea how to let it out.
So, yesterday I watched The Last Samurai and each time I do I am moved by the honor, integrity and discipline by which the Samurai lived. And each time it breaks my heart to see such selfless beings betrayed, only for them to choose death with honor and integrity over breaking their vow to their scared and gullible King. It's such a pointless loss. And then it hit me - deep sadness at the thought of not being able to watch the boys grow up and grow old with Daniela.
There has certainly been no diagnosis that would suggest such a thing, yet it's certainly possible. Tomorrow is promised to no one. I do have an excellent chance of beating this and I know in my heart that I will live through it. Yet at the same time, I can not predict the future and much of what appears to be sad, bad and wrong in life, often brings beauty and transformation.
So, I was relieved to cry as hard as I did. I had no idea I had such sadness in me and I was glad to let it out. I have no problem with it being there, but I am committed to it being expressed - not buried - not ignored. But faced with an open heart just as I do this disease as much as I can each day.
So, yesterday I watched The Last Samurai and each time I do I am moved by the honor, integrity and discipline by which the Samurai lived. And each time it breaks my heart to see such selfless beings betrayed, only for them to choose death with honor and integrity over breaking their vow to their scared and gullible King. It's such a pointless loss. And then it hit me - deep sadness at the thought of not being able to watch the boys grow up and grow old with Daniela.
There has certainly been no diagnosis that would suggest such a thing, yet it's certainly possible. Tomorrow is promised to no one. I do have an excellent chance of beating this and I know in my heart that I will live through it. Yet at the same time, I can not predict the future and much of what appears to be sad, bad and wrong in life, often brings beauty and transformation.
So, I was relieved to cry as hard as I did. I had no idea I had such sadness in me and I was glad to let it out. I have no problem with it being there, but I am committed to it being expressed - not buried - not ignored. But faced with an open heart just as I do this disease as much as I can each day.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Update/Reflection
Today has been a tough day. My joints have been aching since lunch. Thank goodness there's no fever......yet. As soon as my joints started to ache last night and then again today, it hit me that I went almost a week without aching leg muscles which had begun to seem so routine up until last week's break from it all.
However, the toughest part of this therapy for me - hands down - is the diet. The Gerson diet, as you read, is very limited. Then add to it that I currently have a very sensitive stomach and cannot eat things like fresh salsa, citrus dressing, chopped onions (all of which I love) and I am even more limited than the standard Gerson patient. Hopefully, my stomach will be healed in the next month or so and I should be able to eat a few foods I love.
In the mean time, I sit down for lunch or dinner and 90% of the time have no desire to eat even as my stomach's growling. "Oooh! Whi-hew! Potatoes and vegetables again. Gosh, it's been hours since I had them last!" The only thing that pulls me through is when I remind myself that I can have pizza and cheeseburgers and even a milkshake when ever I like...followed by 9 months of chemo & radiation and a colostomy. Amazing how after that thought, I find myself more than willing to gag down another potato, a few more veggies and yet another bowl of that good ole Hippocrates Soup.
Hmm...I am noticing that the context - to avoid chemo & radiation - is definitely not an empowering one. I will definitely look at that and find something that actually inspires me to stay on this diet. I'll get back to you on that. In the mean time, I'm going to vent a little more.
And, I'm not being completely honest. I do enjoy the steamed spinach dipped in Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar
All kidding aside, my spirits were definitely raised when I read some of the wonderful comments posted. It's really something to be so touched by just a few kind words and support. Thanks.
However, the toughest part of this therapy for me - hands down - is the diet. The Gerson diet, as you read, is very limited. Then add to it that I currently have a very sensitive stomach and cannot eat things like fresh salsa, citrus dressing, chopped onions (all of which I love) and I am even more limited than the standard Gerson patient. Hopefully, my stomach will be healed in the next month or so and I should be able to eat a few foods I love.
In the mean time, I sit down for lunch or dinner and 90% of the time have no desire to eat even as my stomach's growling. "Oooh! Whi-hew! Potatoes and vegetables again. Gosh, it's been hours since I had them last!" The only thing that pulls me through is when I remind myself that I can have pizza and cheeseburgers and even a milkshake when ever I like...followed by 9 months of chemo & radiation and a colostomy. Amazing how after that thought, I find myself more than willing to gag down another potato, a few more veggies and yet another bowl of that good ole Hippocrates Soup.
Hmm...I am noticing that the context - to avoid chemo & radiation - is definitely not an empowering one. I will definitely look at that and find something that actually inspires me to stay on this diet. I'll get back to you on that. In the mean time, I'm going to vent a little more.
And, I'm not being completely honest. I do enjoy the steamed spinach dipped in Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar
Oh, and when I really want a treat, I eat a couple pieces of dry-toasted, Sourdough, sodium-free 100% rye bread. And, once a week, I get to eat a serving of popcorn (dry of course) and every day Daniela will stew some fruit that I can eat on top of some plain, fat-free yogurt. It sure ain't no ice cream!
All kidding aside, my spirits were definitely raised when I read some of the wonderful comments posted. It's really something to be so touched by just a few kind words and support. Thanks.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Not for Vegetarians...
Oregon Shrimp Sandwich.
While perusing the internet (for delicious food!!!) I came across this beautiful sandwich, quote included: "AMAZING...velvety shrimp made just a touch creamier with mayonnaise and a little crunchy from some celery, but the masterstroke was the Portugeuse cheese melted on top, which was also just a little chewy and caramelized on the edges in the best way. This is definitely in the pantheon of perfect sandwiches."I could probably eat bread, cheese and nothing else for the rest of my life if it was even close to good for me. Mmmmm. Right now I'd give up my left pinkie finger if I could eat this sandwich just once a week.
Update/Reflection
I am feeling great today. I had an acupuncture treatment this afternoon. It went very well. I am also going to schedule an appointment for myself with my therapist. To be completely honest, I feel great emotionally and physically. It's just that I don't want there to be any chance that I am fooling myself and possibly missing something, emotionally, that I haven't dealt with. Maybe I still have some fear or anger or resentment or even anxiety about having cancer. What do I know? It's my first time. But all kidding aside, there are always deeper layers of emotion mixed with past experience and what ever we associate with those experiences, and I don't want something lurking around in the back of my mind negatively impacting my positive attitude.
On another note, we found a new home for our Golden Retriever, Leo, last weekend. We were sad to say goodbye yet happy about his future.
With me on bed rest and very little exercise to look forward to anytime soon (due to tumor location), an intense daily therapy and two kids (with one just under nine months old) we simply don't have it in us to provide a four year old Golden Retriever what he needs on a daily basis. So, Leo now lives with a wonderful family on an alpaca farm in Ohio. They promise he'll visit when they come to see family in the area.
On another note, we found a new home for our Golden Retriever, Leo, last weekend. We were sad to say goodbye yet happy about his future.
With me on bed rest and very little exercise to look forward to anytime soon (due to tumor location), an intense daily therapy and two kids (with one just under nine months old) we simply don't have it in us to provide a four year old Golden Retriever what he needs on a daily basis. So, Leo now lives with a wonderful family on an alpaca farm in Ohio. They promise he'll visit when they come to see family in the area.
Update
The juicer I am required to use is a Norwalk Juicer. Here's what it looks like:
This is the Mack truck of juicers. The grinder does not create heat (like a centrifugal juicer) which kills a significant amount of the living enzymes in the produce you juice. The Norwalk press applies 2000 lbs of pressure, so the cell walls of what ever you are juicing are being broken down which significantly increases the amount of living enzymes that are being released from the fruit.
These enzymes die very quickly, especially in the green juice, which is why the juices must be made fresh just before the scheduled time to drink them.
This is the Mack truck of juicers. The grinder does not create heat (like a centrifugal juicer) which kills a significant amount of the living enzymes in the produce you juice. The Norwalk press applies 2000 lbs of pressure, so the cell walls of what ever you are juicing are being broken down which significantly increases the amount of living enzymes that are being released from the fruit.
These enzymes die very quickly, especially in the green juice, which is why the juices must be made fresh just before the scheduled time to drink them.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Update
Many people have asked a lot of questions about my diet, so I thought I'd give you an overall view.
Breakfast: oatmeal & raisins
Lunch: baked potato, steamed veggies, & Hypocrites Soup (potato, tomato, onions, leeks, garlic, celery root & parsley root)
Dinner: same as lunch - steamed veggies vary
I eat as much fresh fruit as I like between meals.
I add one tablespoon of flax oil to lunch and dinner.
I eat eight ounces of organic, fat-free, plain yogurt (usually add some sort of boiled fresh fruit).
I am allowed 2 slices of 100% rye, sodium free, sourdough bread per day.
I do not drink any water. I either drink juice, chamomile tea or gruel (oatmeal water). Pure water in Gerson Therapy will stop the therapy's effectiveness. Distilled water is the only water used to cook anything that goes into my body or to wash anything I fresh fruit that I eat. I also have a shower filter in case of any impurities showing up in the spring.
I also take supplements: liver, pancreas, thyroid, CO-Q Enzyme 10, niacin, milk thistle, selenimin & two types of digestive enzymes.
ANYTHING
THAT
GOES
INTO
MY
BODY
IS
CERTIFIED
100%
ORGANIC
Juice (all eight-ounce glasses): one pear, five carrot-apple, four green-apple (garden greens)GOES
INTO
MY
BODY
IS
CERTIFIED
100%
ORGANIC
Breakfast: oatmeal & raisins
Lunch: baked potato, steamed veggies, & Hypocrites Soup (potato, tomato, onions, leeks, garlic, celery root & parsley root)
Dinner: same as lunch - steamed veggies vary
I eat as much fresh fruit as I like between meals.
I add one tablespoon of flax oil to lunch and dinner.
I eat eight ounces of organic, fat-free, plain yogurt (usually add some sort of boiled fresh fruit).
I am allowed 2 slices of 100% rye, sodium free, sourdough bread per day.
I do not drink any water. I either drink juice, chamomile tea or gruel (oatmeal water). Pure water in Gerson Therapy will stop the therapy's effectiveness. Distilled water is the only water used to cook anything that goes into my body or to wash anything I fresh fruit that I eat. I also have a shower filter in case of any impurities showing up in the spring.
I also take supplements: liver, pancreas, thyroid, CO-Q Enzyme 10, niacin, milk thistle, selenimin & two types of digestive enzymes.
Update
Yesterday I had the worst detox flare-up to date: 101.6 degree fever with body ache in every joint I have from head to toe. It lasted five or six hours, preceded and followed by a few hours of pretty bad aches and pains - of course in all my joints. I didn't eat a thing. I just drank my juices and took a few supplements. And poor Daniela had to hold the juices by my head while I drank them with a flexible straw. It was incredible. I haven't had a fever since I was a kid and I certainly can't remember ever feeling like I did yesterday.
Fortunately, Max Gerson came up with a phenomenal pain killer free of all the toxins found in my favorite headache medicine. He calls it a triad. It's aspirin, Vitamin C and niacin. It brought my fever down and it's stopped two mind-crushing migraines I've had during this therapy.
Today, I feel as though my body is riding out the beating it took from yesterday's fever. I certainly hope that whatever was being detoxed from my body is out for good. I have no desire to feel that way again.
Fortunately, Max Gerson came up with a phenomenal pain killer free of all the toxins found in my favorite headache medicine. He calls it a triad. It's aspirin, Vitamin C and niacin. It brought my fever down and it's stopped two mind-crushing migraines I've had during this therapy.
Today, I feel as though my body is riding out the beating it took from yesterday's fever. I certainly hope that whatever was being detoxed from my body is out for good. I have no desire to feel that way again.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Update
I started to write some songs the other day. They're far from complete, but it was such a pleasure to be writing again. I have not written any songs since I was at the clinic in May and none for a while before that. I have been playing when I have the energy, but no writing. I realized I just didn't want to write what I was thinking in fear of it just being too heavy. Then my friend Dustin was over at the house and we were talking about it (he's a great song writer) and he asked me to write the songs...period. He was right on. Hence this blog entry. Man it feels good to have my shoes on again. I feel like me.
Freedom
I have committed myself to another intention for this blog - to share my thoughts with a deeper level of honesty. I always been taught "...the truth will set you free." In the last couple of years, I've decided it's about being honest with and about myself that sets me free - free from fear of others knowing that I am human, too. To say what's really there for me, but in a specific context. What part of my experience can I share, that if I did, the fear of it being known by you would no longer own me? I would no longer have to hide who I am - not to mention that it will show up in the things I say as well as the things I don't say. This person will pick up on it - that person won't, but I know it will be there and it will limit who I am in the world.
So, with that in mind, today I don't want you to know that last week, I became very skeptical about the effectiveness of the Gerson Therapy. I thought, "Sure it has worked for others - I've met people in person and on the phone who have done the therapy with complete success. And, what if it still doesn't work for me?" I didn't want you to know that because I didn't want you to pipe in and agree! And that thought led me wonder if I am seeking approval from others.
Well, yesterday I heard from a dear friend that another friend wanted to call and tell me that I should not be doing the Gerson Therapy. As soon as I heard that, I realized I actually am perfectly okay with anyones opinion being what ever it is - approval not required. How could anyone possibly not have an opinion about a topic so charged as cancer? It's cancer for crying out loud.
That being said, I am clear that I am on the path that will lead to the complete healing of my body. Gerson in one hand and truth in the other.
So, with that in mind, today I don't want you to know that last week, I became very skeptical about the effectiveness of the Gerson Therapy. I thought, "Sure it has worked for others - I've met people in person and on the phone who have done the therapy with complete success. And, what if it still doesn't work for me?" I didn't want you to know that because I didn't want you to pipe in and agree! And that thought led me wonder if I am seeking approval from others.
Well, yesterday I heard from a dear friend that another friend wanted to call and tell me that I should not be doing the Gerson Therapy. As soon as I heard that, I realized I actually am perfectly okay with anyones opinion being what ever it is - approval not required. How could anyone possibly not have an opinion about a topic so charged as cancer? It's cancer for crying out loud.
That being said, I am clear that I am on the path that will lead to the complete healing of my body. Gerson in one hand and truth in the other.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Update
So, my latest detox flare-up is showing up in my teeth. How it has occurred is a great degree of sensitivity in various teeth. If I touch them with my fingernail - the way I might monkey with a tooth or scratch it when I'm in private [Cat's out'a the bag now!] it feels like the discomfort associated with a cavity. Last week, my left canine was incredibly sensitive. Then a day later my right canine was sensitive. Now it's one of my molars and to tell you the truth, I'm not going to touch anymore teeth because it's too painful.
Fortunately, a woman who used Gerson Therapy to cure herself of the same cancer I have, told me that she experienced her teeth getting loose for a while and then they all went back to normal. I wouldn't have thought my teeth were loose, but I suppose that could be what's happening. Once again, it's not a bad thing - it's actually a great sign. It means the therapy's working. The "loose teeth" thing was again confirmed when I read about it in a book called "The Detox Miracle Sourcebook" by Robert Morse. Glad it was brought to my attention before it happened - I would have been a little FREAKED OUT...
Fortunately, a woman who used Gerson Therapy to cure herself of the same cancer I have, told me that she experienced her teeth getting loose for a while and then they all went back to normal. I wouldn't have thought my teeth were loose, but I suppose that could be what's happening. Once again, it's not a bad thing - it's actually a great sign. It means the therapy's working. The "loose teeth" thing was again confirmed when I read about it in a book called "The Detox Miracle Sourcebook" by Robert Morse. Glad it was brought to my attention before it happened - I would have been a little FREAKED OUT...
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Reflection
I would like to begin by expressing my gratitude to you for reading this blog. It means a lot to me that you have taken the time to read about how I am doing. Thanks.
A few days ago, I was thinking about the second entry I ever posted on this blog. I was SO anxious about posting my true feelings. What will you think? What will you say to others when I'm not around? Will I regret being so honest? The day I wrote it, I kept reading the entry over and over. And each time read it, I would glance down at the PUBLISH POST button, and reconsider posting some of my deepest thoughts for the whole world to see. Eventually, I clicked on that button and went to bed. When I woke up the next day, all that fear - all those questions - it was all gone. And I was that much more free to share my experience with you. Every time I jump off that cliff, I don't fall further, I fly higher. It's funny how I still question it no matter how many times I do it.
So this evening I read that entry again and I was amazed at how anxious I was about posting it. Now I read it and the entry just makes sense. My feelings about the purpose behind this cancer are as true now as they were then if not more so. And it's become easier to post my feelings as time has passed. There are some things I would like to share with you that I haven't been willing to post. You know - I've typed the entry - re-read it, re-typed it - then deleted the whole thing [No way an I tellin' 'em that!!!]. Maybe some day. The funny thing is, I don't even remember what it was I was so unwilling to write. Who knows, maybe I've since written it and don't even realize it.
I'm grateful for how connected I feel because of this blog. I feel connected at a time when I have little energy to devote to personal visits, phone calls, email, etc. That's pretty sweet.
A few days ago, I was thinking about the second entry I ever posted on this blog. I was SO anxious about posting my true feelings. What will you think? What will you say to others when I'm not around? Will I regret being so honest? The day I wrote it, I kept reading the entry over and over. And each time read it, I would glance down at the PUBLISH POST button, and reconsider posting some of my deepest thoughts for the whole world to see. Eventually, I clicked on that button and went to bed. When I woke up the next day, all that fear - all those questions - it was all gone. And I was that much more free to share my experience with you. Every time I jump off that cliff, I don't fall further, I fly higher. It's funny how I still question it no matter how many times I do it.
So this evening I read that entry again and I was amazed at how anxious I was about posting it. Now I read it and the entry just makes sense. My feelings about the purpose behind this cancer are as true now as they were then if not more so. And it's become easier to post my feelings as time has passed. There are some things I would like to share with you that I haven't been willing to post. You know - I've typed the entry - re-read it, re-typed it - then deleted the whole thing [No way an I tellin' 'em that!!!]. Maybe some day. The funny thing is, I don't even remember what it was I was so unwilling to write. Who knows, maybe I've since written it and don't even realize it.
I'm grateful for how connected I feel because of this blog. I feel connected at a time when I have little energy to devote to personal visits, phone calls, email, etc. That's pretty sweet.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Update
Today an article about my choice to pursue Gerson Therapy and the difference our community has made was printed in the Ithaca Journal. To read it click here.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Reflection
Arnica Montana
I was a little angry this morning (about all I was dealing with yesterday). You know, sick of all of the pain. I was not feeling gratitude for being alive. It's amazing how easy it is to get angry when the pain is constant.
Well, I am happy to say the Arnica has made quite a difference for me, combined with an ice and heat treatment. What a relief! And I am back in a space of gratitude for my life.
I'm amazed at how well these homeopathic remedies work. Believe it or not, up until my decision to do the Gerson Therapy, I have not been big on holitistic healing. To tell you the truth, I have only used holistic healing when I either can't find an allopathic [traditional] procedure that works or I feel a cold coming and I'm trying to nip it in the bud with something natural remedy from the health food co-op. Granted, I do, on occasion, see a local holistic practitioner and I will gladly admit that every time I see him, he has found the source and remedy for any ailment I've gone to him for. He's incredible. I will also be the first to admit that I sometimes would ignore his recommendation (which I knew worked) because there were certain foods that I was unwilling to do with out.
And I would never have thought to use a holistic approach to heal cancer. No WAY - I drew the line way before cancer - somewhere closer to indigestion!!! However, when I did the research, I found endless accounts of people who had healed themselves of cancer completely naturally. Even better, I spoke to folks who healed their cancer naturally and then friends started sharing about their friends who healed themselves of cancer completely naturally. Am I a big "alternative medicine" guy making a statement? Hell no! I was in the process of getting a referral to a top notch oncologist when I started to see how much sense Gerson Therapy made. And, let's be honest, considering that I was going to lose a good portion of my large intestine and very likely have a colostomy for the rest of my life...yeah, I was a bit curious about the benefits of Gerson Therapy.
So, even with so much discomfort, I can not be toxifying my body with pharmaceuticals if I want the ideal effectiveness available out of the Gerson Therapy. So, I am left to work with whatever holistic options there are. And to find Arnica doing a great job is quite a nice surprise.
I was a little angry this morning (about all I was dealing with yesterday). You know, sick of all of the pain. I was not feeling gratitude for being alive. It's amazing how easy it is to get angry when the pain is constant.
Well, I am happy to say the Arnica has made quite a difference for me, combined with an ice and heat treatment. What a relief! And I am back in a space of gratitude for my life.
I'm amazed at how well these homeopathic remedies work. Believe it or not, up until my decision to do the Gerson Therapy, I have not been big on holitistic healing. To tell you the truth, I have only used holistic healing when I either can't find an allopathic [traditional] procedure that works or I feel a cold coming and I'm trying to nip it in the bud with something natural remedy from the health food co-op. Granted, I do, on occasion, see a local holistic practitioner and I will gladly admit that every time I see him, he has found the source and remedy for any ailment I've gone to him for. He's incredible. I will also be the first to admit that I sometimes would ignore his recommendation (which I knew worked) because there were certain foods that I was unwilling to do with out.
And I would never have thought to use a holistic approach to heal cancer. No WAY - I drew the line way before cancer - somewhere closer to indigestion!!! However, when I did the research, I found endless accounts of people who had healed themselves of cancer completely naturally. Even better, I spoke to folks who healed their cancer naturally and then friends started sharing about their friends who healed themselves of cancer completely naturally. Am I a big "alternative medicine" guy making a statement? Hell no! I was in the process of getting a referral to a top notch oncologist when I started to see how much sense Gerson Therapy made. And, let's be honest, considering that I was going to lose a good portion of my large intestine and very likely have a colostomy for the rest of my life...yeah, I was a bit curious about the benefits of Gerson Therapy.
So, even with so much discomfort, I can not be toxifying my body with pharmaceuticals if I want the ideal effectiveness available out of the Gerson Therapy. So, I am left to work with whatever holistic options there are. And to find Arnica doing a great job is quite a nice surprise.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Update/Reflection
Today has been a tough day. The enemas have been taking a lot out of me for the past few days. [This is where you ask yourself "Do I want to know about this?" Don't worry, it doesn't get that bad - and there won't be any pictures this time!!!] All the others at the clinic had no problem retaining the enema once they got the hang of it. I on the other hand, haven't had that privilege due to the tumor's location. It seems the tumor triggers the rectum [I still can't believe I'm blogging about my rectum even if it is the location of the tumor!!!] into gearing up to empty out. For those of you who don't know, the rectum is like a pouch that holds its contents until you've reached an appropriate location (hopefully a bathroom!). Prior to my diagnosis, I only knew the rectum to be groin-located and the brunt of one of my favorites - "Rectum??? Damn near killed 'em!!!" Hmm...kind of appropriate in my case - key phrase "damn near."
Anyway, I have to constantly work to retain the enema for the desired 12 minutes - sometimes calling it quits when retention takes too much. With all this work to retain it, my muscles - internal and external - have begun to get sore and stay that way all day. I am using Arnica (topical & systemic), massage, ice, and heat. So why so much effort? No enema = No Gerson Therapy and that's not good. So, dig this - I'm sitting at the dinner table on a butt pillow and a cold pack thinking to myself, "Uhm...you can shoot me now" - mind you, a plastic dart will suffice. It would actually be great, so we could all start laughing again - and we did, even without he dart...
This afternoon I got hit with a powerful detox flare-up: nausea, exhaustion and massive leg aches - from the hips right through the bottoms of my feet [strange]. It hit right after I finished lunch and I was on the couch a minute later. It was killin' me. I closed my eyes and stopped resisting the pain to simply be with it. It made it easier to tolerate and then fortunately, I fell asleep and woke up an hour later feeling much better. Gerson Therapy: random moments of misery. I'm feeling much better now. This time with a hot water bottle on my...ahh, forget it.
Anyway, I have to constantly work to retain the enema for the desired 12 minutes - sometimes calling it quits when retention takes too much. With all this work to retain it, my muscles - internal and external - have begun to get sore and stay that way all day. I am using Arnica (topical & systemic), massage, ice, and heat. So why so much effort? No enema = No Gerson Therapy and that's not good. So, dig this - I'm sitting at the dinner table on a butt pillow and a cold pack thinking to myself, "Uhm...you can shoot me now" - mind you, a plastic dart will suffice. It would actually be great, so we could all start laughing again - and we did, even without he dart...
This afternoon I got hit with a powerful detox flare-up: nausea, exhaustion and massive leg aches - from the hips right through the bottoms of my feet [strange]. It hit right after I finished lunch and I was on the couch a minute later. It was killin' me. I closed my eyes and stopped resisting the pain to simply be with it. It made it easier to tolerate and then fortunately, I fell asleep and woke up an hour later feeling much better. Gerson Therapy: random moments of misery. I'm feeling much better now. This time with a hot water bottle on my...ahh, forget it.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
A Chance...
Two days ago, Jodi Peters, a friend of Daniela's and member of our Ithaca Montessori School community, passed away. She was a wife, and a mother of two girls - I believe they were around 4 & 8. Jodi's death was sudden and came without warning. I can't imagine the devastation her family must feel. We send our heart felt prayers to the Peters family.
I have thought of her family many times today and I am grateful to have a disease that is curable. I am grateful to simply have a chance. While I'm wishing I didn't have cancer, Jodi's family is wishing they simply had a chance to save her.
So, yeah, today I am completely clear that I am grateful for the life I have. At one time or another, life has brought each of us painfully difficult circumstances and today I am grateful for the privilege to have circumstances - cancer included - because I am alive.
I have thought of her family many times today and I am grateful to have a disease that is curable. I am grateful to simply have a chance. While I'm wishing I didn't have cancer, Jodi's family is wishing they simply had a chance to save her.
So, yeah, today I am completely clear that I am grateful for the life I have. At one time or another, life has brought each of us painfully difficult circumstances and today I am grateful for the privilege to have circumstances - cancer included - because I am alive.
Update
For those of you who have not seen "Dying to Have Known" - a documentary about the power of Gerson Therapy, click on
and you can watch a 10 minute preview clip of the film. I found the film to be an incredibly inspiring and well balanced perspective on the therapy.
A spectacular combination of poetry, science and cinematographic art... very moving."
- Pedro Aponte-Vazquez, Author, Chronicle of a Coverup
"If this documentary is not immediately suppressed, millions of chronically-ill people will get well."
- Andrew Saul, Asst. Editor, Journal of Orthomolecular Medicine
"It's just exquisite! Deft to the point of sublime. A major step forward."
- John Robbins, Author, Diet for a New America, Reclaiming Our Health
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Update
Today I received an acupuncture treatment from a local practitioner who was kind enough to treat me here at the house. The intention of the treatment was to strengthen my immune system which is the primary focus of the Gerson Therapy.
This stream of generosity I'm experiencing is really something special. Thanks to all of you who have contributed in any way shape or form. You are making a extraordinary difference in our lives.
This stream of generosity I'm experiencing is really something special. Thanks to all of you who have contributed in any way shape or form. You are making a extraordinary difference in our lives.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Update
Just a few hours ago, I spoke with my friend Liam - a patient I met at BajaNutricare. He has melanoma that was removed from his toe when he was first diagnosed. Then five weeks later it returned and metastasized to the lymph nodes near his thighs and to an area on his chest [I'm not clear about the location]. The doctors told him to get his finances in order because he had six-months left if he did nothing more or 18 moths if he did chemo & radiation. He opted for Gerson Therapy.
Well, the doctors gave him a sonogram at the clinic during his fifth week of the therapy and found THE CANCER IN HIS LYMPH NODES HAS BEEN REDUCED AND THE TUMOR IN HIS CHEST WHICH WAS THE SIZE OF A GOLF BALL HAS SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF HIS PINKIE FINGERNAIL. This all happened in 6-WEEKS. How's that for incredible news?
I am so happy for Liam and his family! He returns to Ireland tomorrow to begin the therapy at home. Man that's great news and I'll tell ya, right now, to hear that definitely makes a difference for me...
Well, the doctors gave him a sonogram at the clinic during his fifth week of the therapy and found THE CANCER IN HIS LYMPH NODES HAS BEEN REDUCED AND THE TUMOR IN HIS CHEST WHICH WAS THE SIZE OF A GOLF BALL HAS SHRUNK TO THE SIZE OF HIS PINKIE FINGERNAIL. This all happened in 6-WEEKS. How's that for incredible news?
I am so happy for Liam and his family! He returns to Ireland tomorrow to begin the therapy at home. Man that's great news and I'll tell ya, right now, to hear that definitely makes a difference for me...
Reflection
I was thinking this morning about the Benefit and how much it meant to me that so many of you attended. I'm incredibly grateful to those of you who were able to take the time out of your busy lives to spend that evening with us. It was the greatest send off I could have had. Each of you brought such joy to me by your being there. And it moved me to see Daniela so happy about the turnout as well. We send our thanks to so many of you who have contributed your time, energy and money to us. You have given us the freedom to heal my body completely naturally - something we could not have done without your support. We love you.
And thank you for your comments. I read every one of them (sometimes more than once).
And thank you for your comments. I read every one of them (sometimes more than once).
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Reflection
So yesterday, I 'm watching a DVD and the characters walk into a pizza joint and one says, "This is the best pizza in Jersey." The scene changes to them eating the slices and as I'm watching them eat, I can feel my teeth sink into the cheese and the tomato sauce that has savored its way into the soft thin dough that has just the slightest crunch to it.
Later on that day, Jackie made herself some Quinoa with tomato sauce. She then added a healthy serving of parmesian cheese and sat down with us for dinner. I smelled the cheese and the tomato sauce and all I could think of was pizza. Apparently the expression on my face made that pretty obvious, as Jackie quickly asked if it was bothering me. I said I was fine. A minute later, she looked at me again and asked if I would like her to go outside to finish her meal. I said, "Uhmm...yeah, that would be great."
Have I mentioned how amazed I am at the power of food? Yeah, I probably have. And no worries. I'd rather talk about how much I love the stuff then think about it and pretend I'm not thinking it. Hmmm...pizza. Only one year, 44 weeks, and two days away!!!!!!!!!
Later on that day, Jackie made herself some Quinoa with tomato sauce. She then added a healthy serving of parmesian cheese and sat down with us for dinner. I smelled the cheese and the tomato sauce and all I could think of was pizza. Apparently the expression on my face made that pretty obvious, as Jackie quickly asked if it was bothering me. I said I was fine. A minute later, she looked at me again and asked if I would like her to go outside to finish her meal. I said, "Uhmm...yeah, that would be great."
Have I mentioned how amazed I am at the power of food? Yeah, I probably have. And no worries. I'd rather talk about how much I love the stuff then think about it and pretend I'm not thinking it. Hmmm...pizza. Only one year, 44 weeks, and two days away!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Update
Yesterday's telephone conference with Dr. Cervantes (of Baja Nutricare) went very well. He asked me if I was still following the diet. The question definitely threw me. I can't imagine straying of the diet. I see it very simply. I can have all the pizza I want, and I can go get chemo, too. No thank you.
So he said my blood work looked great and my liver looks beautiful - reminder: the liver is the number one immune system organ. It all starts with the liver. The only changes he made were to my supplements and food intake in response to the test results. Everything looks good. Bon appetite!
So he said my blood work looked great and my liver looks beautiful - reminder: the liver is the number one immune system organ. It all starts with the liver. The only changes he made were to my supplements and food intake in response to the test results. Everything looks good. Bon appetite!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Update
I believe I have made it simple to post comments from now on. It should no longer be a requirement to have a Gmail account in order to post. Please let me know if the correction did not go through. Thanks.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Update
Tomorrow I have a telephone meeting with my doctor from Baja Nutricare to review my blood work and urinalysis. It will be good to have an update. Mid-September I will have a sigmoidoscopy so we can have a look around and observe the progress. Watch out...I might just post a photo!!!...just kidding.
Anyway, a sigmoidoscopy is like a colonoscopy but it's done in the sigmoid colon. Hence the name. Prior to my diagnosis, I had never heard of any type of "oscopy" other than the colonoscopy. Here's a photo if you're wondering where your sigmoid colon is:
Lately, I have been feeling pretty good when I'm not going through a flare-up. The detox flare-ups lately have been consistent: aching legs for hours which can be a bit difficult, but tolerable (I can reduce the discomfort by blotting potassium solution where it hurts. Interesting, huh?); flu symptoms which are almost hysterical because the last time I had them they only lasted 15 minutes and then they were gone...????; and I'm often tired - I usually take a nap during the afternoon or late morning. Cal's lazy dog loves it - now he has a partner in crime.
Anyway, a sigmoidoscopy is like a colonoscopy but it's done in the sigmoid colon. Hence the name. Prior to my diagnosis, I had never heard of any type of "oscopy" other than the colonoscopy. Here's a photo if you're wondering where your sigmoid colon is:
Lately, I have been feeling pretty good when I'm not going through a flare-up. The detox flare-ups lately have been consistent: aching legs for hours which can be a bit difficult, but tolerable (I can reduce the discomfort by blotting potassium solution where it hurts. Interesting, huh?); flu symptoms which are almost hysterical because the last time I had them they only lasted 15 minutes and then they were gone...????; and I'm often tired - I usually take a nap during the afternoon or late morning. Cal's lazy dog loves it - now he has a partner in crime.
Max - sleeping
I love hearing from you all via your comments, emails or cards. I check the email address up top - bertscholl@gmail.com - about once a week.
Reflection
Last week I was watching a program in which one of the characters died of cancer. As the episode completed, I felt the fear of dying before my time and I thought to myself, "I could have done without this episode." It was later on that day that I began to appreciate the value of the episode. It gave me an opportunity to get present to my fear and acknowledge it, which I had genuinely not realized was still present. I'm clear that I will be fine when all is said and done. And it feels better to know the fear is in the background and to face it, then to think I'm past it and all the while have it lurking in my mind. Granted I'm not going to spend all my time watching programs about people dying of cancer, but watching one turned out to be a good thing. Once again, I have my feelings - my feelings don't have me.
So, I have been watching comedies and an occasional action flick. I agree with those who believe that laughter isn't just a good thing, it's a healthy thing. I also try to read as much as possible. Right now I'm reading Willie Nelson with Bud Shrake ~ An Autobiography. Gotta love Willie. The song in my head lately is "Always on My Mind." What a song! And it wasn't even written by Willie. It was written by Johnny Christopher. Willie heard it and thought he and Merle Haggard should do it. Well, Merle didn't like it, so Willie recorded it with his band after the session with Merle was over...and the single sold triple platinum. Good ear, Willie.
I dig this photo adding feature. Just found it - very cool.
So, I have been watching comedies and an occasional action flick. I agree with those who believe that laughter isn't just a good thing, it's a healthy thing. I also try to read as much as possible. Right now I'm reading Willie Nelson with Bud Shrake ~ An Autobiography. Gotta love Willie. The song in my head lately is "Always on My Mind." What a song! And it wasn't even written by Willie. It was written by Johnny Christopher. Willie heard it and thought he and Merle Haggard should do it. Well, Merle didn't like it, so Willie recorded it with his band after the session with Merle was over...and the single sold triple platinum. Good ear, Willie.
I dig this photo adding feature. Just found it - very cool.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Reflection
This evening I was thinking about my stay at Baja Nutricare - it seems so long ago and it was only a few weeks since I left. I thought of a nice conversation worth sharing with you. On the day we left Mexico, our driver told us about a patient and companion he was driving to the clinic. The patient and the companion were fellow church members and the companion agreed to accompany this person because he had previously been a companion for a family member who had since fully healed from cancer. The driver continued to tell us there are something like 25 other "cancer clinics" in Tijuana and he no longer drives for any of them. It's because of the kind of experience he had with this companion and Baja Nutricares incredibly high standards that he only drives for Baja Nutricare patients and their companions. It was a pretty inspiring story to hear as we were on our way back home.
The photo is a street sign and decorative palm on a nearby street in Tijuana.
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