Living Space

People have been asking what I need. I'm seriously considering moving to a studio/efficiency apartment that has space outside to play. Without question I would need an affordable rent. When I say affordable, I mean I'm looking for a landlord who, like many employers who are committed to paying a living wage, is committed to charging a "living rent." I don't know if those landlords even exist.

I'm not ready to move. I might stay where I am. I don't know. I've got a lot of thinking to do before I make my choice, but it's percolating... If you have any thoughts, please message me.

My Decision Has Been Made

On Friday I met with a surgeon, Dr. Schoniger, at Strong Memorial/The Wilmont Cancer Center. He said he would take the same approach as Dr. Vandermeer, the surgeon I met with at Guthrie in Sayre. They are both respected surgeons, so I will be going with Dr. Vandermeer at Guthrie Sayre because he's closer to my home. I want my family and community to be able to support me through this surgery with as little travel time as is necessary. So, I spoke with Vandermer today and asked him his availability. He said he will likely be available on the 27th or 28th of September. He will have one of his staff call me tomorrow for scheduling.

As soon as he provided me those dates, I realized that's 15-16 days from now and just wanted to cry. So, perhaps later this evening or tomorrow when I get a free moment to myself, I will. I'll let it out and then get my shoulder back to the wheel. This isn't like last time. I don't have a committed partner by my side 24/7. I will be doing this...well, not alone, I know I have my family and community, but far more independently than I did the last time around.

Prior to surgery, I will get have an ultrasound procedure called a Duplex, during which my legs will be scanned for any blood clots. This is because of the massive pulmonary embolism I had following the last big surgery I had. Dr. Vandermeer wants to vanish as much risk of a repeat as possible. At the beginning of the actual tumor removal surgery, he will do an interoperative ultrasound (IOUS) with which he will scan my liver for any small tumors or cancer growth that CTs, PETs & MRIs can't locate, and to determine the location of blood vessels so he can navigate the surgery in the safest manner possible.

I will have about a week in the hospital following surgery, then a four to six week recovery at home. While recovering my doctors will put a microscope over the tumor cells and determine the best chemotherapy treatment. I'm looking at six-months of post-surgery chemo [insert frustration based profanity here]. And I'm committed to staying focused on being loving and grateful for my life and all that comes with it. We get what we get. And I have so much to be grateful for. In fact, my little man is the greatest motivation in the world. He's more precious than words can express and I'll do whatever I have to do to be here for him.

http://bertscholl.blogspot.com

Never Thought I Would Be Posting This

On Friday September 2nd, my oncologist diagnosed me with metastasized cancer. I have a 2.4 cm diameter tumor in the right lobe of my liver next to my gall bladder. I have to admit, I was convinced I would never be diagnosed with metastasis. I was certain the cancer was gone for good.

What's in my favor is that the five prognostic indicators used to determine risk are all in my favor.

1. tumor size - small
2. number of tumors - one
3. less than 12-months since original treatment - it's been three years
4. if lymph nodes were positive for cancer at original diagnosis - none were positive
5. CEA aka cancer markers less than 200 - my CEA is 6.5

My doctor also believes the metastasis is likely a result of cancer cells that traveled from the (original) rectal tumor, through the vein that goes from the colon to the liver, and once the cells got to the liver, they stayed there for three years. And in the last six months the cells grew into a tumor large enough to be detectable. The plan is to surgically remove the tumor followed by six months of chemotherapy.

If my doctor's diagnosis is accurate, I have a 70% chance of being cured. And cured is defined as five years cancer-free. I'm getting a second opinion on Friday September 9th. If the treatment recommendation is the same, I'll schedule the surgery immediately following the second opinion.

In the mean time, Bert Scholl & Friends is scheduled to perform on Friday September 9th at O'Toole's in Auburn, NY. We likely won't have anymore gigs until after I recover from surgery. So Friday is going to be a fantastic night. And it's going to be exactly what I need.

And one last thing. For those of you I haven't contacted directly, I've got SO MUCH to manage and just haven't had a chance to call you yet. But I love you all the same.

Endoscopy: Went Well

Today I had an endoscopy. I've been taking Omeprazole (generic Prilosec) for a gastro issue I've been experiencing over the last ten years. Specifically, whenever I engage in some kind of cardiovascular exercise, I have pain & pressure in my chest. No worries it is not a heart problem. In June of 2009, I had a cardio-stress test and a heart catheterization. I'm fine.

So I take Omeprazole and long-term use requires an endoscopy to determine if the source of the problem and also because Omeprazole will mask certain symptoms of stomach cancer. So, I had an endoscopy...

Patients are generally sedated for an endoscopy, but if you've read much of my blog since 2009, you know I'm totally uninterested in being sedated unless absolutely necessary. Well, now I'm clear why people are sedated for endoscopies. The throat is numbed with a spray that tastes has a horrifically unpleasant taste and left me struggling to keep my eyes open due to the stinging sensation. Once the mouth piece and the saliva vacuum were in place, the scope, about a half inch in diameter, was inserted into my throat.

As you can imagine, the gag reflex was in full force. The staff continually reminded me that I was actually able to breath, although there were a few moments where I felt the need to check. Once the instrument was well down my throat and entering my stomach, I was not only gagging, but I was also dry heaving non-stop. But don't worry it gets better.

In order to have maximum visibility, the doctor pumped air into my esophogus, stomach & eventually small intestine. And when air goes in, air must go out. So in addition to the constant gagging & non-stop dry heaving, I began to belch. No, I did not burp. A burp is the passing of air through the esophogus and out the mouth (or nose if you prefer). That was not the case. I was belching with a force I had never experienced in my life. Enormously loud, throat stretching belches that left me feeling like an out of control wild boar in the midst of a full blown panic attack and perhaps giving birth as well. It's quite a an experience and I'm sure quite a sight.

Gagging, dry heaving & belching, each in and of themselves, absolutely uncontrollable and non-stop. Take a moment and close your eyes and try to imagine doing all three at once... I'm surprised I didn't implode.

Two minutes after the scope was inserted, it was out and the procedure was over. Pathology results will be in by the end of the week. And the doc says he saw no signs of cancer. Thumbs up.

Embodiworks - Integrative Cancer Care Resources

Embodiworks is an organization designed to support the WHOLE person as they manage a cancer diagnosis - addressing every aspect: mind, body & spirit. They address every aspect. Have a look. I really like what they are up to. They share my commitment to transform the cultural conversation about cancer into one that empowers all those affected. Perhaps you'll use it or recommend it to someone in your life.

Click here to go directly to their website.

St. Baldrick's April 3, 2011

On April 3, 2011, I'm shaving my head again, but this time to stand in solidarity with kids fighting cancer, and more importantly, to raise money to find cures.

Please support me with a donation to the St. Baldrick's Foundation. This volunteer-driven charity funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U.S. government.

Your gift will give hope to infants, children, teens and young adults fighting childhood cancers. So when I ask for your support, I'm really asking you to support these kids. Thank you!

Click here to go directly to my participant page and donate.

Lastest Test Results

Today I received my test results from my blood work & CT scan. All test's came back negative. Come April 15th I will have been "officially" cancer-free for two years. I'm not feeling any joy as of yet. Right now I'm simply feeling relief.