I just began another chemo infusion this morning. As with each systemic treatment, I was sent home with a battery operated pump on a continuous infusion through Friday afternoon at 2PM at which point it will be disconnected, as it always is. So at that point, I will have completed my eighth infusion, which has me two-thirds of the way through my treatment! I'm very happy about this. As I've said previously, the emotional side-effects of this treatment have been surprisingly difficult, to say the least. Of course this doesn't exactly come as a surprise. Life has handed me a lot in the past year-and-a-half. I don't know what to do with it all, although I'm clear I will find my way ... in time.
A few areas of my life have been pretty incredible lately. I am very grateful for all the love in my life. And for the gift of music and the privilege to have it as a form of self-expression. At a personal level, my song writing exists as a conduit through which I release my thoughts, fears, passion, love, etc. Which results in one more part of myself no longer bottled up, unexpressed, circling around in my mind. Well, for the most part... Then there are those tunes that once I go public with them, there's no turning back. Those stay in my head for a while I suppose. But ultimately, they free my mind as well. And I can use a whole lot of that right now.
My friend Dustin always says something along the lines of, "What do you need for a good song? A few good chords and the truth!" That's my music in a nutshell. And when I'm lucky, those who listen can relate because they feel it too. Not to mention, performing with some damn fine musicians sure as hell makes for a far richer experience.
And in the mean time, if this round of treatment is anything like the previous ones, I'm in for a hell of a ride for the next five days or so. Lately I've felt like Luke Skywalker training with Yoda in the Dagobah System when he comes face to face with himself.
So please send some love my way on Friday and Saturday when all the side-effects - mental, physical, spiritual, emotional - start jockeying for position to whoop my ass. I'll update you on the winners. xoxo
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
While I am halfway through running in a 5k from hell... I look to you with amazement as you close in on the finish line of the marathon from hell that you're running in. God speed.
ReplyDeleteYou too my friend <3
DeleteYou always have love! You are in my thoughts! xoxo
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Delete