Safe & Sound

I made it to and from Sayre, PA yesterday. It was quite a drive and one I hope to not have to make again under those conditions. Glad to be home safe and sound.

Slow Travel (or Maybe Snow Travel)

Well, it turns out I am feeling all right today and I felt pretty darn good yesterday. It gave me a chance to get some things done around the house which is always a pleasure in my world. My next concern is to get down to Sayre, PA this morning (one hour drive each way) to get my 5-FU pump removed (a 15 minute process!). Why is that a concern for me? The forecast calls for an inch of snow per hour today with a total of 8 - 14 inches in total. Well, I'm about to step out the door and get a jump on the drive so I can travel nice and slowly.

Today's Infusion

I am currently in the process of receiving my day two infusion of my sixth chemotherapy treatment. There was a little nausea yesterday - not fun. But I stayed strong and didn't request the anti-nausea IV meds. The nausea wasn't too bad and the meds for it just knock me out cold. I'd rather be conscious and a little uncomfortable than drugged and sleeping deliriously. At least for now. Hopefully it won't get too tough during the next six treatments.

The other side effects I have recently begun to experience are headaches. Yeah, I had the migraines last week, but yesterday when I got home I had a lingering headache. It wasn't really painful as much as it was just...there. Not really bad, but just enough to be annoying. And all last week when I didn't have a migraine, I still had lingering headache pain that lasted most of the week. It's oe of the side effects of my chemo cocktail. I took a pain reliever and it helped. Something I'd rather not do- take more pills - but let's be honest. I experience so many side effects, it's important to me to get relief on a regular basis.

At the moment I'm receiving my pre-meds - they're preventative meds. And as a result I'm feeling a little better than I was this morning and yesterday. I hope it lasts.

Oh, the two gals in the photo up above are two of the RNs in Hemotology Department where I receive my infusions. Sabrina and Marianne - they're great!

The Joys of Chemically Induced Side Effects

This latest chemo treatment - or should I say the latest side effects - really took me by surprise. The weekend was pretty standard. I had my chemo infusions on Wed/Thurs/Fri, then spent Saturday and Sunday riding out the lethargy, flu-like symptoms and the feeling of being poisoned. Nothing terrible or shocking. Pretty routine.

But Monday and Wednesday - they were gems! On both days I had super-intense migraines within the first couple hours of being awake. Normally, if I take two Aleve and go to sleep for an hour, I will wake up with a numbness where the headache was, but no migraine pain. However, on Monday & Wednesday both of these migraines were only about 80% gone following the Aleve and the nap. I was shocked. Fortunately, a couple Extra-Strength Tylenol took away most of the remaining pain. But I do have to say I was just amazed by the intensity of the pain.

Once the second migraine hit on Wednesday, Daniela called my chemo doctor and they called in a script for migraine medicine for me. Part of me is actually confronted by is the idea of putting additional chemicals into my body - to counter the effects of previously administered chemicals. Chemically induced side effects being treated with more chemicals? I'm clear this is a very common approach in allopathy aka Western Medicine: "Here are your pills and here are the pills to deal with side effects of those other pills. That may be how western is medicine done, but it doesn't mean I like it. And I have to ask myself, "What will the side effects of these latest drugs be and how will I deal with them?" Hopefully the side effects will be minimal.

Yes, it will all eventually come to an end at the end of March when the chemotherapy regimen is complete, which is what I keep in mind: the ultimate goal. And I will without a doubt cleanse the living daylights out of my body once this chemotherapy regimen is complete. Carrot juice & coffee enemas? Maybe. I'll know what's next when I get there. But one way or another I will be cleansing my system in the Spring and getting these toxic chemicals the heck on out of my system!

More Than You Know

I just finished my 5th chemotherapy treatment so it's likely I may lay low for a while and wait to write until I am feeling better. Due to that strong possibility, I wanted to address the difference it makes for me when you leave your wonderful acknowledgments. A couple recently posted have really made my day.

So, I thought it important to share with you that your acknowledgment of what I am up to and how I have gone about it are part of what has me take on my diagnosis the way I have. Your kind and thoughtful words inspire me to stay strong and maintain a perspective that serves me best. Your honesty and generosity helps keep me focused on the ability each one of has to choose an empowering context to live our lives moment by moment - no matter what the situation. I think that's one beautiful thing about being human.

So thank you for "putting yourself out there" and posting your comments. It's likely you provide me more than you know.

A New Possibility

I had a great appointment with my Surgeon, Dr. Cagir (that's him on the left), his Nurse Practitioner, Nan Walsh as well the hospitals ostomy Nurse. Dr. Cagir was pulled into emergency surgery 10 minutes before my appointment, so I met with Nan and Sue. Nan said my body is healed from the surgery and responding beautifully. That being said, my second concern was the possibility of being able to irrigate on a daily basis.

[Reminder: to irrigate is to take a warm water enema every 24 - 48 hours which flushes out the large intestine thus allowing the individual to go without a pouch [sweet!] and instead simply wear a large bandage.]

Nan did request that I speak to Cagir to confirm that irrigation is a possibility, yet she did read the surgery report which stated that I do have enough remaining large intestine to be a candidate for the possibility to irrigate. Yes, only the possibility. It can take one to two years of irrigation on a daily basis to train the large intestine to void once every 24 - 48 hours. And it doesn't stop there. I will then have to irrigate once a day for an hour in order to keep the large intestine trained. And I am fully committed to taking it on.

Sue then followed up with a visual of the necessary equipment used to irrigate and showed me how long and exactly how the process works. Very simple and very similar to the coffee enemas I did while on Gerson Therapy.

Considering I am a young man with lots of life to look forward to, a one to two year wait for the desired results, is a drop in the bucket if daily irrigation will provide me the freedom from wearing a pouch on a daily basis. Hell, I'd even wear a pouch for years if I had a damn near guarantee that it would stay empty until the next morning. And, of course, the large bandage would be ideal.

After my meeting with Nan and Sue, I caught Dr. Cagir on the way out of my appointment (and gave him a big hug - love the guy) and he said I will need to wait until 14-days after chemotherapy is over (in March of aught-9) before initiating daily irrigation. Regular chemotherapy treatments apparently causes consistent irregularity of the large intestine and irrigating would therefore be a waste of time.

He also thanked me for giving him a copy of my Letters to the Prison City CD and suggested I call it Prisons of Cagir. He's a nut. Today's meeting was great. I am very pleased with my new possibility.

I'm B-a-a-a-c-k!

I thought I'd post a couple pictures to show that I'm no longer a bean pole. Man, I sure was skinny!!!