Today I acknowledged two of the staff at the radiation department. I had a different conversation with each one. The first - a nurse - I acknowledged for working in the department. And she thanked me. I told her I didn't know if I could do it. Naturally she said, "Sure you could" to which I replied, "Yeah. If I was working with you."The second - a Nurse Practitioner- I acknowledged for being great with me when I first got there because when it all started I was less like a patient and more like a "deer in the head lights" swinging a baseball bat. I was stunned and I was not happy to be there. All the staff have been wonderful as I have slowly loosened up. So now, I trust them and I can laugh with them and open my heart to them. Hopefully, I won't have a tear-filled goodbye when I leave. But then again, when I'm in an incredibly grateful state of mind, I've been known to share a few tears with a gas station attendant.
The only issue I have with radiation is the red & dry skin I've got you know where. And if you're still wondering where I'm talking about, remind yourself that I have rectal cancer. And the fastest way to the rectum is through the...exactly. It's not as bad as the burn from oral Castor Oil, but it's enough to make me quite anticipatory as each day I hope it gets no worse. Although, I keep reminding myself - as of today, only 13 treatments to go. Less than 3 weeks.
Oh and the last thing - I gained a couple of pounds and for me that's very good news. Had I lost anymore, I would likely appear invisible when standing sideways.
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Dude, I have to tell you, I have typed about a dozen wise ass remarks, only to delete them all. I guess I just dont want to make jokes right now, but rather reflect on how much I want you to heal.
ReplyDeleteI have deleted religon jokes, glowing jokes, hair jokes and even completely unoffensive (if that is possible from me) going fishing jokes.
I guess that I just have a hard time believing that my wise acre remarks are going to make you fell any better.
But then when I get really down, I realize I need to try, for your sake. So here goes:
Why can't Hillary Clinton get into heaven?
Polish Sausage.
ReplyDeleteSo good, it deserves its own food group!
You'll be done with radiation in time for Ithaca Festival (which is in late June this year). Will you be done with chemo too?
ReplyDeleteoh..just got my annual mri result back: fourth year of clear sailing! Before you know it, you'll be reporting the same thing.
L
Rain