Friday, August 8, 2008

One Heck of a Day!!!

First of all I want you to know I came home from the hospital at the end of the day on Thursday. However, it was one heck of a long day...

The day started with a CT scan and a blood draw for lab work as scheduled. Then Daniela & I took Beau to a playground where we played with Beau then had a little lunch since my next appointment wasn’t until 1:20 PM with Dr. Allerton (my chemotherapy doctor). At the meeting with Dr. Allerton, we discussed the different chemotherapy options which he said said he would not start up for another four to six weeks. After that was discussed he told us he was amazed the cancer was gone. He kept saying different things like “I’m amazed - I don't think you understand how rare this is- We don’t see things like this – None of us thought this was going to happen. A T4 tumor usually involves some major difficulties...” he repeated these sentences a number of times and when he finally let up I said, “Feel free to say anything like that as long as you like – as long as it’s true.” He smiled and I let him know I believe it’s a result of the Gerson Therapy and explained my theory that due to such low toxicity in my body, the chemo & radiation were far more effective.

Once we wrapped up in the exam room, he walked us to one of the administrative desks to set up my next appointment. What followed next amazed me. Now you need to understand that Dr. Allerton clearly has a great sense of humor, but as far as the emotions go, he keeps things quite professional. Given he’s that kind of guy, I went to shake his hand and say thank you and instead he said, “Let me give you hug. This is amazing.” Coming from him. A guy who sees the worst of it every day and knows the odds, it felt pretty darn good to get that hug from him. I feel like I’ve won the Triple Crown.

Following the meeting with Allerton we went to Dr. Cagir’s office to discuss the results of the CT scan. The CT scan showed the fluid was still present and the recommendation was to drain the fluid from the suture area and send me home with an antibiotic prescription. Naturally, I asked what the process entailed and it was explained to me that a needle would be pushed through my behind and into the cavity where the fluid was building up so it could be drained. Once drained, it would be determined if the fluid was infected. If infected, a drainage catheter would be installed and I would be sent home on an antibiotic with catheter to be removed in a week or two. If not, I would simply be sent home on oral antibiotics.

Well, the fluid was drained and I was sent home on an oral antibiotic. HOWEVER...

When that doctor told me he was going to stick a needle through my behind and into...some mind was spinning like a top. I could barely think straight. You’re going to stick a needle all the way through my butt? Okay. I won’t pretend. I don’t exactly have a whole lot of butt to go through. But my butt’s my butt. And I would prefer to NOT stick needles THROUGH IT. HOLY CHRISTMAS. I said, “Doc. I want this to work well for all of us. And the idea of a big ole needle getting pushed through my butt.... I am FREAKING OUT. If I flinch while you’re doing it. Man-oh-man.”

Yeah folks. Forget humility. Forget pride. This guy was going to impale me with just a little numbing agent to ease the pain. Yes I said impale me because in my world that’s exactly what he was going to do. I must have confirmed with him and his staff at least 53 times that they were going to sedate me. And I must have been white as a ghost because they sedated me - heavily. Hell, I woke up on the couch on Friday morning and Daniela had to remind me what happened the day before.

Needle through my butt and into the “blah-blah-blah” cavity. No, no, no, no, no. Say it ain’t so!

[note from wifey: bringing bert home last nite was memorable. the nurse who wheeled bert out to the curb left us with the instructions to relax, take it easy, do nothing bert immediately says he wants to go for a walk when he gets home & is that ok? she said "what kind of walk" (she was suspicious, clearly, so wisely inquired further). he then says, "i like to go about a mile or so".

now, keep in mind, he's on MAJOR painkillers, and just woke up from almost total sedation. downright loopy, actually, and now declares he wants to go bloody HIKING when we get home??? we've only been at the hospital for about 10 looooong hours, had minor surgery, and next we're up for HIKING??? i shot the nurse a look that begged " please god, not hiking..." so she says he can only go for a short walk with someone...

so, we proceed out to the car, with bert telling me he's going for his walk anyway, and does not need assistance. i had images of me out in the fields up by our house trying to find bert, only to discover him laying in some field, claiming he can now communicate with crickets...

we began to head home, and he's fully outta his mind. just yammering up a storm, about nothing that mae too much sense. next he wants pizza. we stop at Sopranos Italian market, and i said i'd go in for him. he says, " i can do it myself, i'm not sick you know!" so i said fine, go ahead...he comes out with a large bag...i'm trying to figure out what's up with the bag?
"hon, what did you get?"
(big grin...) "apple pie!!!"
"how much hon?"
"the WHOLE PIE!!!"

when we got home, he remembered the walk...i had to lure him onto the couch for a minute, thinking the mystical powers of the couch would beckon him to sleep. thank goodness for mystical-couch-powers...worked like a charm....zzzzzzzzzzzz]

and to cap it all of, bert opened the fridge this morning, like a little kid at christmas morning, and says to me, "WHO GOT PIE???????????????"


  1. Did you get that prescription I recommended?

    Did the Doctor play Metallica during your procedure?

  2. Awesome News!! -Pocky

  3. Your wife's story is seriously the funniest thing I've ever read. I literally laughed out loud. I love drug-induced Bert- hysterical!

  4. Bert,

    I'm glad your oncologist could show you how happy he was at the results of your treatment.

    I had a lipoma (benign fatty tumor) removed from my hip a couple years ago, and developed what they call a seroma, which is fluid build-up in the cavity where the tumor used to be. My surgeon stuck this huge syringe into my hip to drain it. I couldn't feel it, because the area was still numb from the surgery. But I could SEE her suck the fluid out. 40ccs, which is a LOT. I will never forget it, and I can't imagine having someone do that to my BUTT!

    I think you are smart and know what you need during all of this, and I'm glad you are not afraid to tell them what you need. There is absolutely no reason to tough any of this stuff out.

    And Daniela, I am glad you have a magic couch. It sounds like you had your hands full with Bert on the way home.

    I continue to think of you both. And I hope you enjoyed the pie. MaryGail and I believe that there is nothing in life that cannot be made better with a good piece of pie. :-)


  5. Wow. Gerson therapy and a great attitude, your cancer did not stand a chance.

    Congratulations on beating this.

  6. LMFAO @ HOLY CHRISTMAS - thanks for the morning laugh and hey, I think you could connect with crickets if you spent enough time trying. Glad things are going well!

  7. Hey, Bert.....If we could reach through this here flat screen, we would be hugging you too!! What great news!

    Kevin and Char

  8. SHUT. UP. Cancer Free? And you make me come all the way over here to find out?

    Damn, you are good.

    Now about that butt cavity thing. What's up with THAT?

    Christmas, I'm glad I've just got boob cancer.

    Love ya man. Good job!

    Jen B.