A Good CT Scan - Abscess Gone

On Thursday September 4th, I went in for a CT Scan and was happily informed that there is no abscess. In other words, the fluid removed from the rear incision area on August 8th did not return and I am free and clear with no need to see Dr. Cagir (my surgeon) for another three months. Whi-hew!!! [Nothing personal, Doc, but that's damn good news.]

However...I do have some discoloration around and tenderness on the stoma [the surgical opening visible on my abdomen] and I had a fever on Tuesday night. Dr. Cagir took a look at the stoma. There is no irritation on the skin surrounding the stoma. He also checked the stoma for hernia and found nothing. He completed the meeting saying he could not tell what was causing the irritation but also explained that it's not his arena and made sure I shared it with Dr. Allerton (my chemo doctor) who he knew I was scheduled to see. So, when I met with Dr. Allerton, he took a look at the stoma and reviewed my blood work. White blood cell counts were good meaning no serious infection, so he put me on two antibiotics - Flagyl & Avelox and made it clear that I am to contact him immediately should I experience any additional pain, swelling, puss [yuck], fever, etc. I also self-prescribed Ibuprofen to reduce the swelling and thus reduce the tenderness. It's definitely making a difference.

It was an interesting experience at the hospital. Dr. Allerton missed my 10 AM appointment because one of his patients had an emergency as we were waiting to see him. So, I we went to my 11 AM appointment with Dr. Cagir and returned at 12:25 PM to see Dr. Allerton. He was not scheduled to return from his meeting for another 35 minutes which pushed our meeting time back to 1 PM. At one we were called in to the exam room. At 1:25 PM, I asked if he knew we were there. At 1:40 PM he was paged and it was reported that he was in the ER with one of his patients. I found myself frustrated that we had waited a total of 1 1/2 hours to see him and still we waited. Then I reminded myself that if I had a dangerous reaction to my chemotherapy treatment that put me in the ER, I would want him there monitoring my vitals making sure I had whatever I needed. A bad reaction to chemo can be a pretty scary situation from what I understand.

And at the same time, I find it hard to be compassionate and patient - waiting, waiting, waiting - while Daniela & I are doing everything we can to keep our 21-month old occupied or better yet, to keep him from exploding out of sheer boredom as he climbs the walls of the tiny exam room. Because when he starts losing it as a result of being in the hospital for hours longer than any of us find tolerable, we soon have to start monitoring our own patience levels with one another before the two of us start pulling our hair out because we had no intention of being there this long and now we are wondering if we'll be able to pick up the 10-year old from school on time. Not to mention how fortunate we were that a friend/neighbor agreed to let our dog out for us while we were at my appointments.

So, there we are on the floor of the exam room playing with Matchbox cars. And when that got old, we let Beau sort the various exam room materials and tools. We try to avoid that, but by this point it was either their materials & supplies all over the floor or a 21-month old tyrant whom we adore screaming for whatever it is that isn't available to him at the moment. And soon that got old, so I got online on the exam room computer, discovered YouTube to be a blocked site, but then got lucky opening Google Video and was able to access a non-Youtube video link to the Muppets doing Mahna-Mahna (one of our all time favorites) for which I soon realized there was no speakers. So, I sang along as best I could, then searched and eventually landed on Bob the Builder - of course with no sound. But as soon as I clicked on "play," Beau immediately exclaimed, "Bob!" and we knew we had secured a few more minutes of relative peacefulness.

After my appointment, Dr. Allerton apologized for the second time and again I let him know how much I would have wanted him by my side if I was having an emergency-room-scale reaction to my chemotherapy. In retrospect, I feel like it was a good opportunity to let go of how I expect life should be. It really does make things easier to go through, but my goodness, life is not exactly short of these opportunities and I can hardly consider myself an 'A' student in that arena. But all in all, I think Daniela and I did fairly well. I'll see Dr. Allerton next week for a check up assuming that between now and then, the stoma goes back to normal.

One Heck of a Day!!!

First of all I want you to know I came home from the hospital at the end of the day on Thursday. However, it was one heck of a long day...

The day started with a CT scan and a blood draw for lab work as scheduled. Then Daniela & I took Beau to a playground where we played with Beau then had a little lunch since my next appointment wasn’t until 1:20 PM with Dr. Allerton (my chemotherapy doctor). At the meeting with Dr. Allerton, we discussed the different chemotherapy options which he said said he would not start up for another four to six weeks. After that was discussed he told us he was amazed the cancer was gone. He kept saying different things like “I’m amazed - I don't think you understand how rare this is- We don’t see things like this – None of us thought this was going to happen. A T4 tumor usually involves some major difficulties...” he repeated these sentences a number of times and when he finally let up I said, “Feel free to say anything like that as long as you like – as long as it’s true.” He smiled and I let him know I believe it’s a result of the Gerson Therapy and explained my theory that due to such low toxicity in my body, the chemo & radiation were far more effective.

Once we wrapped up in the exam room, he walked us to one of the administrative desks to set up my next appointment. What followed next amazed me. Now you need to understand that Dr. Allerton clearly has a great sense of humor, but as far as the emotions go, he keeps things quite professional. Given he’s that kind of guy, I went to shake his hand and say thank you and instead he said, “Let me give you hug. This is amazing.” Coming from him. A guy who sees the worst of it every day and knows the odds, it felt pretty darn good to get that hug from him. I feel like I’ve won the Triple Crown.

Following the meeting with Allerton we went to Dr. Cagir’s office to discuss the results of the CT scan. The CT scan showed the fluid was still present and the recommendation was to drain the fluid from the suture area and send me home with an antibiotic prescription. Naturally, I asked what the process entailed and it was explained to me that a needle would be pushed through my behind and into the cavity where the fluid was building up so it could be drained. Once drained, it would be determined if the fluid was infected. If infected, a drainage catheter would be installed and I would be sent home on an antibiotic with catheter to be removed in a week or two. If not, I would simply be sent home on oral antibiotics.

Well, the fluid was drained and I was sent home on an oral antibiotic. HOWEVER...

When that doctor told me he was going to stick a needle through my behind and into...some cavity...my mind was spinning like a top. I could barely think straight. You’re going to stick a needle all the way through my butt? Okay. I won’t pretend. I don’t exactly have a whole lot of butt to go through. But my butt’s my butt. And I would prefer to NOT stick needles THROUGH IT. HOLY CHRISTMAS. I said, “Doc. I want this to work well for all of us. And the idea of a big ole needle getting pushed through my butt.... I am FREAKING OUT. If I flinch while you’re doing it. Man-oh-man.”

Yeah folks. Forget humility. Forget pride. This guy was going to impale me with just a little numbing agent to ease the pain. Yes I said impale me because in my world that’s exactly what he was going to do. I must have confirmed with him and his staff at least 53 times that they were going to sedate me. And I must have been white as a ghost because they sedated me - heavily. Hell, I woke up on the couch on Friday morning and Daniela had to remind me what happened the day before.

Needle through my butt and into the “blah-blah-blah” cavity. No, no, no, no, no. Say it ain’t so!

[note from wifey: bringing bert home last nite was memorable. the nurse who wheeled bert out to the curb left us with the instructions to relax, take it easy, do nothing strenuous...so bert immediately says he wants to go for a walk when he gets home & is that ok? she said "what kind of walk" (she was suspicious, clearly, so wisely inquired further). he then says, "i like to go about a mile or so".

now, keep in mind, he's on MAJOR painkillers, and just woke up from almost total sedation. downright loopy, actually, and now declares he wants to go bloody HIKING when we get home??? we've only been at the hospital for about 10 looooong hours, had minor surgery, and next we're up for HIKING??? i shot the nurse a look that begged " please god, not hiking..." so she says he can only go for a short walk with someone...

so, we proceed out to the car, with bert telling me he's going for his walk anyway, and does not need assistance. i had images of me out in the fields up by our house trying to find bert, only to discover him laying in some field, claiming he can now communicate with crickets...

we began to head home, and he's fully outta his mind. just yammering up a storm, about nothing that mae too much sense. next he wants pizza. we stop at Sopranos Italian market, and i said i'd go in for him. he says, " i can do it myself, i'm not sick you know!" so i said fine, go ahead...he comes out with a large bag...i'm trying to figure out what's up with the bag?
"hon, what did you get?"
(big grin...) "apple pie!!!"
"how much hon?"
"the WHOLE PIE!!!"

when we got home, he remembered the walk...i had to lure him onto the couch for a minute, thinking the mystical powers of the couch would beckon him to sleep. thank goodness for mystical-couch-powers...worked like a charm....zzzzzzzzzzzz]

and to cap it all of, bert opened the fridge this morning, like a little kid at christmas morning, and says to me, "WHO GOT PIE???????????????"

Morning CT Scan

For the last four days or so I have taken one to two one-mile walks per day. It is such a wonderful feeling and we live in absolutely beautiful country. To walk with one another means so much to both of us. We went for walks evening after evening shortly after we moved out here. Quiet roads, farms & wetlands, beautiful trees and skies. It provides so much for us. And this week is the first week we've been able to walk together since the last walk we had together - on May 11, 2007 - the day before the benefit. Our walk is the big event of our day and we look forward to it each time. It's great to have it back.

Thursday August 7th, I will have a morning CT scan and then blood tests and an afternoon meeting with Dr. Allerton (my chemotherapy doctor). Fortunately, my meeting with Dr. Alleton will not include reconnecting my chemo port. Man, I feel nauseous just thinking about starting chemotherapy again. No reason to mention anymore about that right now.

My big concern is my CT scan and if I have an infection that an oral antibiotic can't treat. Like I said - I hope to find out on Thursday afternoon because if I need to be re-admitted, I'd prefer to do right then and there - not after I've already driven home.

Another CT Scan For Thursday

I am doing well as far as how the antibiotic impacts my stomach. Now I only take the stuff on top of a big meal. And I've got back up options shared from others as well if my stomach is still irritated.

The rest of my body feels pretty good. I go on about two walks a day. This morning I was feeling pretty depressed - I don't want a colostomy and in fact don't want anything to do with a colostomy. So, from sitting in my recliner depressed, I got up off my butt and went for an hour long walk. Not only did it feel great as far as my healing body goes, but it just about vanished any feelings of depression. Exercise is a beautiful thing. Plus I saw two neighbors I really like and got to tell them the great news. I still can't tell people I'm cancer-free without crying.

Sitting is still a little painful, so my Nurse Practitioner has scheduled another CT Scan for Thursday. And of course, if the infection is worse, they will re-admit me and insert a drainage catheter as well as prescribe me an IV antibiotic. I'll let you know on Thursday. Believe it or not, I'm shootin' for not being readmitted.

CT Scan...and Staples

Finally my staples are gone - what a relief!!! Those things were driving me nutz.

I also had a CT scan and blood work to determine the source of my recent abdominal pain. And in looking for it, it seems I may have a slight infection near the top of my backside suture. That explains why I still have a little pain when I sit - I had just figured it was post-surgery pain.

Fortunately, I was given an antibiotic to take home with me. I say "fortunately" because prior to be given the prescription, Dr. Cagir informed me that I may need to be re-admitted and administered an IV antibiotic as well a drainage catheter. So, we waited an hour until a well-respected radiologist had the opportunity to review my CT scan and provide Dr. Cagir with a second opinion.

Initially I FREAKED at the thought of being re-admitted. And then after a few minutes, I was able to relax and realized that it would likely be nothing more than a boring hospital stay with minimal discomforts. Initially upon hearing that I may be admitted again, my brain went to the only experience I recall as an admitted patient: heavily drugged and occasionally in a great deal of pain. Oh. And with a room mate who woke me up every single night at 1 AM & 4 AM until I finally got my hands on some soft ear plugs to sleep with. In his defense, he was 87-years old and confessed to being hard of hearing and forgetting - at 1 & 4 AM - that he had a room mate.

And he was very apologetic for being hard of hearing. He compensated for it by yelling when ever he spoke to any of the hospital staff or whenever he spoke to his wife when she came to visit. And of course they all provided him the same courtesy of yelling when they spoke to him. It was a real treat for me when ever he met with the staff and/or his wife. Oddly enough, when his two sons-in-law came to visit, they would talk for over an hour and no one seemed to need to yell to communicate...

Anyway, I will be scheduled for another CT scan in one to two weeks to make SURE there is no infection. Apparently, once a bad infection shows up in tissue that has been radiated, i.e., my backside, it can take "forever" to be healed (or so said Nan, my Nurse Practitioner).

So, as much as I despised the idea of being re-admitted, by the time I thought it through, I was perfectly content with it. When Dr. Cagir prescribed an antibiotic and sent me home, I asked him, "Are you sure?" I have no desire to take ANY chances. He assured me it would be okay because I am to be scheduled for another CT scan in the next week or two to keep an eye on things.

Today's Hospital Visit Had Some Great News!

I had a CT scan this morning and it was relatively uneventful other than my feeling quite spacey from the Barium I had to drink last night and then two more times this morning. Fortunately, the folks doing my CT scan were kind enough to leave the IV (used to inject iodine into my blood stream during the CT scan) in my vein so I could then walk over to the vampires and let them do the blood draw required of me prior to my meeting with Dr. Allerton (my chemotherapy doctor).

I'm sure Daniela & I will receive the results of my CT scan tomorrow when we meet with Dr. Cagir. As far as my meeting with Dr. A, he said my counts were good and my protein counts were slightly low but nothing to be concerned about as long as I continue eating plenty of protein, as my body is still healing from the chemotherapy. Dr. A reviewed my ultrasound results and said there was no longer any cancer in the lymph node closest to my rectum. That was great news!

Tomorrow Daniela & I will meet with Dr. Cagir to discuss my upcoming surgery. We'll also meet with the Nurse Practitioner who oversees new colostomy patients. I did adhere the colostomy pouch to my abdomen and I also put a handful of small polished stones in the pouch to see what it feels like to have some weight in it. I am real clear at this point that there is no way in hell I'm putting oatmeal or applesauce in the pouch. Substituting food for feces? Sure no problem. Just let me go puke a couple seventeen times first! It is amazing what some people are capable of...and that some people ain't me.

And on that note, the colostomy isn't really phasing me right now. My concern is strictly about the final results of the surgery.

Just Around the Corner

I felt great today and I have to tell you it's strange to feel great. What I'm used to is either having one hell of Gerson Therapy detox flare-up or the horrendous side effects from the chemotherapy & radiation. I am without any of that. Oh, it's great and I love it. I'm not saying it's not. But it's definitely a new experience when I compare it to the last year or so.

On Wednesday July 9th I go in for a pre-surgery CT scan followed by blood work and a visit with Dr. A - my chemo Doc. That should be pretty uneventful as long as my counts are good. I am imagine they will be. Like I said - I'm feeling great.

On Thursday July 10th, Daniela & I will meet with Dr. Cagir - my surgeon - and discuss the plan for my surgery on July 16th. We'll also meet with a Nurse Practitioner (whose name I don't recall at the moment) who will provide me with all the information I need about managing the colostomy.

After that, I will relax for four days. On the fifth day - July 15th - we will celebrate Daniela's birthday!!!!!!!!!! And in addition to the WILD PARTY we're sure to have, I will begin my pre-surgery prep. I will only drink clear fluids for the entire day along with enough laxatives to keep an elephant home from work!!!

Oh YEAH - good times. Hopefully I will be able to make it through all 15 seconds of "Happy Birthday" without having to excuse myself from the room in order to complete my hundred-n-forty-seventh trip to the bathroom. I suppose I could leave the door open and sing a little louder. Then again, maybe we should just celebrate her birthday on the 14th this year. She might like that a little better.