I Am Quite Relieved

More good news: You may have notices that I am not doing a CT scan this time around. This is because the scan enhancer aka contrast (a chemical used to sharpen the images taken in the scan) in a CT scan can have nasty side effects on some people. Well, apparently I am "some people." The MRI scan enhancer is much easier on the body which is the sole reason my doctor scheduled the MRI and no the CT. I am not interested in experiencing another "four alarm hangover" like I did following last September's scans.

In fact, I have just confirmed the MRI scan enhancer to be nothing like the stuff used in the CT scans. The gal I spoke with from the radiology department made that real clear. I am quite relieved. The CT scan enhancer made me so sick last September, that when Daniela woke me up to tell me the great news - "there was zero cancer growth!" - I actually didn't even care, because all I wanted to do was sleep so I could remain unconscious to the side effects. It seems like this time, it will be a very different experience - hopefully in more than ine way!

My Tests Are on the Way!

My PET scan and MRI are scheduled for this Friday - February 8th

I am very excited! What ever the outcome may be, I want to know for certain exactly how I am doing. Keep in mind that if I feel anything like I did the last time I had scans done, I will not post anything until the following day. Those scans require the individual to be filled with a nasty but necessary batch of poisons. Ooh Baby...

Why I Have Been Avoiding a Sigmoidoscopy Like the Plague

So, it seems I must clarify if even my own sister is asking why I am avoiding a sigmoidoscopy "like the plague"...

Sigmoidoscopy: visual examination (with a sigmoidoscope - see above) of the lower third of the colon.

I've been typing then deleting, then typing then deleting, trying to explain and I think the most effective way to explain is this: 1) the scope doesn't fit (even if it looks like it does, trust me, once it's in their you will realize it does not fit) & 2) I was awake and felt everything when I had my sigmoidoscopy in April '07. See, you really just have to get that the scope does not fit. I mean, technically, it fits because they get it up there. Oh! And then in order to be able to get a proper visual, a second tube (did I mention the first one didn't fit?) is inserted to inflate the colon with air which provides some space to look around. Once inserted, the scope must be bent back downward in order to look down onto where the rectum meets the anal sphincter - the tumor area in my particular case. So now, instead of pointing straight up, it is in the shape of the letter "J" but upside down and to imagine why that matters...well, do this:

Point your index finger straight up. Now curl it down until it's in the shape of an upside down "J." Once your finger is halfway down, notice that it's taking up twice as much space as it did when pointing straight up.

And once the downward view has provided all that is needed, naturally, the scope has to be returned to a straight position. Yes, that would required returning the finger back the straight or forward position. Ooh, yeah. That again.

It was also an equally difficult experience when the ultrasound was done - both times. And once the ultrasound rod is inserted...oh yeah, a second tube is inserted to inject water into the colon so the machine can get a better reading.

I must confess, I could have been be put under were my doctor to ask me to get a sigmoidoscopy. It's standard procedure for a colonoscopy. But until recently, if I was going to have a sigmoidoscopy, I wanted to be awake so I could see what was doin' down there. As painful as it was - gripping the bed bar and sweating bullets, mouth open with my eyes damn near rolled into the back of my head - it felt it important for me to see this rather unattractive yet colorful growth in my rectum. However, with all the pain I experienced in the last eight months, I think this time I will request that I get KNOCKED. OUT. COLD while the doctor plays a pitiful game of Hasbro's Operation.

If you're not familiar with the game Operation, it is a game where, with tweezers, you attempt to remove little plastic "ailments" from small holes in the board without touching the edges of the spaces within which the "ailments" are placed. Otherwise it sets the buzzer off. I can just hear the Gastroenterologist, "Oops the buzzer went off. Oops the buzzer went off. Oops the buzzer went off." My guess is that it's the future gastroenterologists who don't spend much time playing Operation as children so they don't know the goal is to NOT touch the outlying areas. Perhaps gastroenterologists (and colo-rectal doctors) were the kids who liked the sound of the buzzer and would actually push harder against the sides of the holes just to see if they could make the game buzz louder than their friends!

I hope that provided some clarity.

Yes, I will indeed request to be "out" for this one. And I'll ask if the crew can send me home with a DVD copy of it all. It's in full color, I might add. But don't worry. If I post the video, you will be fairly warned. It won't just start playing as the window opens up on your computer...

It Ain't Exactly Pizza...But It's Good

I am psyched to say that my stomach seems to be back to 100%! If you don't recall, way back when I first started this therapy and stopped eating meat, cheese, nuts, seeds, fats, oils, etc., my stomach would hurt when ever it was empty and whenever I ate acidic foods.

For the last few days I've been having SALSA on my potato and I LOVE IT! Salsa was something we always had at the clinic, being in Baja, Mexico, and I could never eat it. What a treat to have it back. And my salads are far more tasty with tomatoes, onions and peppers on them as well.

Yes, this may seem like an awful lot of excitement about a couple of tomatoes, onions & peppers, but you have to consider that I haven't been able to eat them for the last eight months and considering the limits of the Gerson diet, a few tomatoes, onions and peppers makes my meals a whole lot better!

Different Form of Pain Management

I am trying a different form of pain management. After talking to my Gerson doctor, I have chosen to take a temporary break from coffee enemas and only do chamomile tea enemas. This is in order to give the rectal tissue a break from the acidity of the coffee so I can determine if the coffee is a reason for some of the discomfort I am feeling. Because I am not doing any coffee enemas, I am only on three juices a day. I must say it is certainly pleasing to me for Daniela to have a break from this therapy, although it had nothing to do with my decision. I am still on 100% of the Gerson diet, just 8 juices less.

This is not a common Gerson practice - taking a break from the enemas - but I believe in my case, it is a necessary action to take in order to help determine the source of my discomfort, since unlike most folks I know doing the therapy, my tumor area is in direct contact with the coffee and the toxins that pass over the tissue as they are passed out of the body. Taking this "coffee-break" will not cause any harm and hopefully, it will provide the relief I need.

Also, my soon tobe scheduled scans will certainly help. And if there is no relief and nothing that points to the discomfort is revealed by the scans, the next step will be a sigmoidoscopy. Something I've been avoiding like the plague and a necessary evil if nothing else provides an answer.

I'm looking forward to some success in the very near future...

What I Have Been Avoiding

I just read a few entries from the blog of a woman surviving cancer. In her latest entry, she shared that she just had her scans and they were successful! In previous entries, she shared about the anger and frustration with "other things in life" as she anticipated her scans. As I read about her anger & frustration with how things are not going as she would like, I found myself not wanting to read the entires. It was getting to me and to be quite honest, I'm glad it did because it revealed to me some unfinished business. Or in other words it had me discover what I have been avoiding. I have not posted any blog entries about my upcoming cancer scans and tests. I had no intention of posting anything about the tests until after they happened in case they didn't go so well. And if they didn't, I would decide at that point what to do and then let you know.

I can see now that as long as I operate that way, any anxiety or fears about the tests not going well will completely own me. And you don't get to know what's going on with me or have the opportunity to support me. So, you're officially back on board! I'll keep you right in here with me. I'm not interested in carrying around buried anxiety & fears. They will only turn into hidden resentments - that I can then take out on the people I love??? Yeah, right. I'll pass on that.

With that being said, on Monday my PET scan and MRI will be scheduled for, hopefully, sometime quite soon. And as soon as I have a date I will let you know when they will be.

Have a great weekend and thanks for everything!

It's 3:27 AM EST and I am posting a blog entry. Not my first choice. More than anything, I'd rather be sleeping. Well actually, more than anything, I'd rather not have cancer. But given the circumstances and that I have yet to learn how to disappear cancer simply in a single thought, right now I'll go with sleep. That would real nice.

It's odd how some nights I am simply wide awake. Sometimes it's for no reason I can see. Other times, like tonight, the old backside gets a little sore and I can't sleep. So right now I am sitting in a little improvised bathroom-floor sitz bath and using the enema table as a laptop desk. Hey, it works.

Sleeplessness would happen on occasion pre-diagnosis. Now it's a fairly regular thing. Fortunately, I have the day off from work tomorrow, so I'm not worried about my performance at the office. Fortunately, I have every day off until my body is healed so I guess a little sleeplessness will work itself out.

So, instead of sleeping I've been reading the emails that I've skipped over for days (or weeks) and checking out cool websites that test your knowledge of geography, etc. or scanning the website that lets me know who is visiting my blog from various countries and cities around the world and how many times it's been viewed - all that good stuff.