Yesterday, a neighbor stopped by to tell us that the power was back on. Yet, oddly enough, we all ready knew that...??? Anyway, my friend Michelle answered the door when the neighbor knocked. They greeted one another and then the neighbor asked, "So are you with hospice ? [.....uhmmm.....WHAT?......did you say hospice? No, I'm not here with hospice. I'm actually here to read him his last rights but I've never done it before. Any recommendations??????]
Now that I think of it, maybe the neighbor thought Michelle was with hospice because we were dying laughing after she left. It was even better earlier in the day when she shared about someone close to her who died of rectal cancer [thanks for sharing]. Did you ever notice that some people have no idea that their thoughts actually exit their mouths? Fortunately for her, we got a big kick out of the whole thing and both Michelle and I were clear she had no awareness of what she was saying. And in all honesty, she has been quite a friendly neighbor and she is a very sweet person.
I should also clarify. I am more than happy to talk about cancer if it's relevant in the conversation, and as you can imagine, lately it's been quite relevant. It's also okay to share about someone you know who died of cancer. And my request is that any sharing of that sort be shared with us from an empowering context - with the intention of providing something positive/supportive. What I am not interested in is hearing people's sharing about someone in their life who died of cancer just for the sake of sharing it - like a weather report. So, if you call or email or stop by, you don't need to be worried about saying the word .....................cancer.....................and now that I think about it, I have always been very uncomfortable about saying the word cancer to someone who is dealing with it, until now.
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My brother-in-law was in a very severe motorcycle accident with traumatic brain injury. Sometime later a fellow at work found it necessary to tell me that most people with TBI commit suicide within a couple of years afterward. As you say, it was like a weather report, rather than a suggestion that I keep an eye on him.
ReplyDeleteThey say it takes all kinds. Not true. There just are.
Last night I read your blog , and was blown away by how your words, thoughts and observations resonated with me.I am also dealing with cancer , living with it and after a few unsuccesful operations decided to use alternative healing methods.
ReplyDeleteI have spent the last 3 years researching, reading and discovering what is available out there.I have come up against alot of opposition , mainly from " well-meaning" friends..told to "quit chasing rainbows" and get chemo and radiation.A Doctor even said to me ...so what if you have to wear a bag , or two ..at least you will be alive!Well its not okay with me! arghhhh.Know what you mean.Keep up the great work.