I'm Back

In case you're wondering, I haven't posted much lately because I wanted to keep the WELCOME entry visible to any new readers who found out about the blog via this recent series of articles that we were fortunate to have in three different newspapers.

Well, it seems the blog address only made it into one of the three papers, so there weren't very many visitors. And just imagine - all this time I could have been filling your ears with multiple entries describing how miserable I've been feeling.

Just kidding!

Don't get me wrong. I genuinely appreciate the articles in the paper. In fact I'm thrilled about them - informing people about the benefit, my CD, and how happy we are about my positive progression throughout this diagnosis. Not to mention the opportunity to acknowledge all the wonderful people who have contributed to us in so many ways. It's just that my intention with this blog is to reach as many people as I possibly can. Which I will continue to do.

Anyway, I am happy to inform you that I have been taking regular walks with with Daniela and Beau (and Max our dog, too) and enjoying this absolutely gorgeous Autumn weather. It seems like a nice thing - going for beautiful Autumn walks. Actually, it's absolutely incredible. I was put on bed rest essentially the day I got to BajaNutricare: May 14, 2007. And when I ended my Gerson treatment and began traditional treatment, I was in too much pain to be anywhere but on the couch. And then there was surgery recovery. It's still a new thing to be going for walks. I LOVE IT.

Not to mention the turning of the leaves which is such a treat every year. Each years Autumn always comes as a surprise to me. Not like I'm surprised that it happens, but when I see the pinks and brilliant golds, I always wonder, "Were they that beautiful last year?" Just amazing.

So, I have had a cold which started on Sunday October 5th and was finally gone in time for the benefit. As a result, I also got to see our 10 year olds soccer game on Sunday [Tie: 3 to 3] and go shopping with Daniela & Beau which hasn't happened in...two years? It was definitely worth missing a little football for that. And now my cold is back. In my ears, nose & throat along with a side order of body ache. So, I emailed Dr. A (my chemo doctor) a request to post-pone my chemotherapy treatment until I'm feeling better. Shortly after, I received a call from his office letting me know my appointments for this week have been rescheduled for next week - same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.

I am quite relived. It was not a good feeling knowing I had an appointment for more chemotherapy while I'm feeling lousier than I have in the last few 10 days. That stuff takes a toll on the body and I'm in no condition for more right now. So, it's all rest, fluids, fluids, fluids and food. Man do I get hungry when I have a cold. And with a healthy serving of Tabasco Sauce on my evening snack,

thank you Kevin & Claire for a fantastic wedding favor

my sinuses are not as nearly stuffed up as they were a few hours ago.

Update

So what does my diet consist of at Baja Nutricare?

Every meal is organic and every juice is organic and each juice includes a Potassium Iodine supplement. In the morning I begin with freshly squeezed pear juice. Then I have oatmeal with slices of papaya, banana and raisins, figs & apricots that have been soaked. For lunch I have Hypocrates Soup (potato & veggies), steamed vegetables and a baked potato with fresh salsa & a tablespoon of flax (or linseed) oil & chopped onions. For dinner I have the same as what I had for lunch with different steamed vegetables and sometimes a little desert consisting of baked oats & apples with maple syrup (like an apple crisp) or frozen banana &/or papaya ground in the juicer which creates the consistency of ice cream. Somewhere down the road, fat-free organic yogurt I will be added to my meals. Throughout the day I am also drinking carrot-apple juice, greens-apple juice & gruel (oatmeal water).

And if you're wondering, it's very ease to get used to when the alternative is chemotherapy & radiation.

Thank you for your comments. I read them all. I love you, too.

Reflection

Yesterday I went to the beach. Juan the maintenance man gave me a ride. He dropped me off and I sat for a while and was met by Chris Stadelmaier (my Gerson companion) and another guest and two other companions. It took about 15 minutes for me to be captured by the motion of the sea. There's a lot of letting go here at Baja Nutricare. Letting go of the desire for comfort food is the easy part. Letting go of my active lifestyle is a little tougher. Gerson Therapy requires REST REST REST. I feel a little stir crazy, not being able to walk, but I guess I'll get used to it.

So there I was at the beach - irritated, uncomfortable, wishing I hadn't gone. It seems it's all a part of this process. Letting go of how I've done things for most of my life. So, I thanked my feelings for sharing and looked back out onto the sea. Then it captured me and I would have stayed for hours given the opportunity. But considering it would have required me to do a coffee enema right there on the beach, I opted for a timely return to the privacy of my room. As we left, I hoped we would see more dolphins and far more play on their part. The few dolphins we saw were not launching out the water (apparently they were yesterday). Instead they occasionally surfaced and soon they were gone.

I am learning rudimentary Spanish (having "studied" it in college may be having a little impact - but not much!) Didn't do so well at the ole Espanol. We have fun with the staff though. Many of them know little to no English, so we teach each other.

Update

On Monday morning at 8:30, we were picked up by a shuttle in San Diego and we arrived at Baja Nutricare at 9:30 AM. Two other folks were waiting as well - husband and wife. She has breast cancer and he's not accustomed to this type of diet. We all feel "new" and very curious.

Once in, I immediately had blood drawn and my vitals checked. We were shown our room and had a tour of the facility. Chris and I each have a single bed in the same room. It's a descent space.

I was "walked through" both enemas on Monday. Today I did them with Chris's assistance. Enemas will take some getting used to - shocker!

My blood work came back today and it was very good. Dr. Cervantes said my liver count and cholesterol were both amazing!!! He said it looked like the numbers he sees for vegan patients!!! It should definitely make my detox a little bit easier.

We had a Norwalk Juicer demonstration. I've never tasted carrot juice that was as good as this stuff. All a result of the type of grinding process and (I'm guessing more importantly) the 2000 lb press that's used to extract the juice.

Tomorrow Charlotte (Gerson) will be visiting and speaking to us as a group as well as individually.

I feel great and, I am a bit low energy - the detoxification process has begun. It commonly shows up as fatigue. The flare-ups haven't begun yet, although I am experiencing a bit of a sore throat but only from the evening through the morning. I may have brought it here with me. We'll see.

Reflection

It's been just over 36-hrs and I'm beginning to find my place here at Baja Nutricare. Arriving was different than I had anticipated. I didn't feel excited when I arrived, I felt resentful. I was annoyed with the other patients and their companions as they relaxed in the courtyard, smiling and talking. I didn't know why, but I was bothered and I wanted to be alone and away from everyone. Once we got situated, I realized that the transition was just a lot for me in such a short time. I questioned if I had made the right choice - like jumping from a cliff into a swimming hole and then wondering, "Should I have just done that?" Of course I should have, but I needed to allow myself that level of honesty. In addition, I only recently watched "Dying to Have Known" (the video about Gerson Therapy) so the whole thing was still very much conceptual. And suddenly we are here, interacting with a proud staff and excited guests and companions.

The guests and the companions want to know, "Are you here as a companion or a patient?" "Is he your brother?" "When were you diagnosed?" "What were the symptoms?" Most folks just cut right to the chase. We're all here to do one thing: stop the cancer from growing and best case scenario, reduce the cancer to the point that a local removal is possible. Everyone here has had surgery except me. Currently there are five other patients here (with their companions of course) so that makes 12 of us in all.

All of us eat our meals together (except one patient and her daughter - they eat in their room). It's buffet style. Most folks happily show us the ropes. The staff already walked us through the process and most of the guests are eager to help. We actually seem to be bonding quite quickly, finding out, "How many juices did they start you on?" "How many ounces are your enemas?" "Are they allowing you any exercise?" [rest is essential when the body needs to heal at this level]

This morning I woke up with a strong desire to play the guitar - first in along time. I asked who might know where to get one. I was directed to Dr. Cervantes and he said he might find one. Later in the afternoon a guitar was brought to me! It's an acoustic nylon string guitar strung with steel strings and most of the strings are strung on the wrong pegs. It's hysterical and gratitude is all I feel - what a treat! I'll restring it tomorrow or maybe send one of the companions out for strings. They seem to go out regularly. The cooks are looking forward to hearing a song tomorrow evening. It will be fun.

Reflection

This first entry is introspective: where I have begun to look...

Today is May 7th and I'm getting very excited about all you wonderful folks who will be seeing me off at the benefit on the 12th. I'm just as excited about going to Baja Nutricare and beginning the process of detoxifying my body.

As I have been reflecting upon this experience day by day, I have been inquiring into what is available to me out of having these cancer cells growing in my body. After the initial shock, the anger, the incredible sorrow and the sense of powerlessness I felt, I was able to begin looking at the purpose of my body having cancer - something that puts such fear into so many of us. I stopped asking "why?" Naturally I have no idea. But, I am clear that I have been provided with cancer - not stricken with it.

Today it occurs as a wake-up call as well as an incredible opportunity for me to take on the health of my body and my mind (something that I usually sacrificed for the great taste of cheeseburgers and milkshakes). On that note, one thing I've come to realize is that some folks will enjoy cheeseburgers and milkshakes up into the final days of a very long life. I, on the other hand, and clearly others as well, do not have the privilege of such gastronomic pleasures. So be it.

I am also clear that nothing of this magnitude occurs in my life without me transforming who I am in some significant way or another. Already, I have made huge strides in humbling myself and asking for the support of others. In the beginning, it took everything I had just to tell a single person that we were having a benefit. And how the world occurs to me today vs. two months ago is very, very different. I have come to learn that people truly love having an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. How do I know that? SO MANY PEOPLE have gone out of their way to make this benefit happen by contributing in countless ways - people I have never met and probably never will. I do not live in the same world that I lived in two months ago and I'm clear the world hasn't changed a bit - I have.