Reflection

It's been just over 36-hrs and I'm beginning to find my place here at Baja Nutricare. Arriving was different than I had anticipated. I didn't feel excited when I arrived, I felt resentful. I was annoyed with the other patients and their companions as they relaxed in the courtyard, smiling and talking. I didn't know why, but I was bothered and I wanted to be alone and away from everyone. Once we got situated, I realized that the transition was just a lot for me in such a short time. I questioned if I had made the right choice - like jumping from a cliff into a swimming hole and then wondering, "Should I have just done that?" Of course I should have, but I needed to allow myself that level of honesty. In addition, I only recently watched "Dying to Have Known" (the video about Gerson Therapy) so the whole thing was still very much conceptual. And suddenly we are here, interacting with a proud staff and excited guests and companions.

The guests and the companions want to know, "Are you here as a companion or a patient?" "Is he your brother?" "When were you diagnosed?" "What were the symptoms?" Most folks just cut right to the chase. We're all here to do one thing: stop the cancer from growing and best case scenario, reduce the cancer to the point that a local removal is possible. Everyone here has had surgery except me. Currently there are five other patients here (with their companions of course) so that makes 12 of us in all.

All of us eat our meals together (except one patient and her daughter - they eat in their room). It's buffet style. Most folks happily show us the ropes. The staff already walked us through the process and most of the guests are eager to help. We actually seem to be bonding quite quickly, finding out, "How many juices did they start you on?" "How many ounces are your enemas?" "Are they allowing you any exercise?" [rest is essential when the body needs to heal at this level]

This morning I woke up with a strong desire to play the guitar - first in along time. I asked who might know where to get one. I was directed to Dr. Cervantes and he said he might find one. Later in the afternoon a guitar was brought to me! It's an acoustic nylon string guitar strung with steel strings and most of the strings are strung on the wrong pegs. It's hysterical and gratitude is all I feel - what a treat! I'll restring it tomorrow or maybe send one of the companions out for strings. They seem to go out regularly. The cooks are looking forward to hearing a song tomorrow evening. It will be fun.