Americana Jubilee

I stopped in to the Americana Jubilee late this afternoon and caught the end of the El Caminos' set and the first half of the Dregs' set. Great music by both bands. I wish I could have stayed for the rest of the night. It's happening as I'm typing this and I'm sure Richie Sterns is doing beautiful things. If you were there after I left, sorry I missed you and thank you for showing up.

Dustin and all the bands...thanks a million.

Donuts Anyone???

This afternoon, I traded in my pride for...a donut pillow. Aka, a butt pillow. Ooh, I feel your envy rushing through the screen. Contain yourself if you can. Actually, to tell you the truth, I was overjoyed at the relief I felt - physically, not emotionally. This is still a butt pillow were talking about here!!! All kidding aside, the physical relief was quite significant. When I go to an appointment, I can now arrive and not be sore as all git out. So, enjoy the opportunity to yuck it up while you can (and I will laugh with you) because the minute I don't need this thing...it's going on eBay!!!!

Anyway, speaking of relief, I have made some progress lately. When I first arrived home, I could not lift a full gallon container without feeling pain in the tumor area. Now, I can lift a full gallon container with no pain or discomfort of any kind. It's a great sign.

Saturday's Americana Jubilee Benefit!!!

This Saturday September 29th, the 3rd Annual Americana Jubilee will be at the Rongo (aka the Rongovian Embassy to the World) in Trumansburg, NY. For more information, see the post from
September 5, 2007.

The Americana Jubilee is a fantastic event and very much worth going to. I just might make an appearance around 3 PM. Maybe I'll see you there!

Gerson on YouTube

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/user/GersonTherapy

The Gerson Institute is on YouTube. I find this to be very exciting! Heck, I haven't even done more than glance at it because I wanted to get the url posted so you can check it out. Enjoy!

So, now I'm back (5 minutes later) adding to this posting. I just watched the video at the top of their page and it's very moving and a little scary at that.

Correction (as per the Boss)

Daniela informed me that the photo I posted on September 25, 2007, was not a good photo of me, so I replaced it with a different one from the day before (or after). Of course, Beau is still included.

Healthier Than I've Been in Years (well...kinda)

Lately, a few folks who have come to the house for the first time since I was diagnosed, have expressed a little surprise that I look so healthy. They acknowledge their expectation that I will look maybe a little gaunt and without color. So, I thought I'd let you in on something. Gerson Therapy, as a cleansing therapy, is not just healing my body of cancer. The therapy is healing my entire body from head to toe so my body can heal itself of cancer and anything that thought it might take roost in my body.

Now, keep in mind, I am still dealing with the discomforts of rectal cancer: ice packs for soreness along with very little sitting and much more laying down or sitting in a slanted position. Yet outside of the unhealthiness of the cancer itself, I am in many ways, healthier than I have been in years. With that being said, I have included a photo of myself today.

Skinny?...Oh, yeah.

Gaunt?...Not even close.

Correction

Correction to September 22, 2007 entry:

This morning I realized that during last nights dinner, the emotion I was overwhelmed with was not sadness, it was more of yearning - a yearning for relief. Sure relief from having cancer [yuck!], and a huge part of it is yearning for something delicious, but lately my biggest struggle is accepting what it takes for Daniela to manage my therapy on top of a 10-month old baby and a 9-year old boy. Yes, I do help out with the kids, but that says it right there. I help out with the kids vs. the two of us raising them together. I simply can't move around like any parent of a 10-month old needs to in order to keep him entertained yet safe. Daniela has an extremely busy, intensely scheduled life in order for all of this to work. You're an incredible mama and the greatest wife in the world. I could not have a better person partnering in this therapy with me. You're an angel and I love you.

Fingers Crossed

Well, after writing the last blog entry on September 18, 2007 about wishing for a walk, I went as far as I could with my desire to go for a walk and settled for a very short drive with Daniela up to a field where we have gone for many walks in the past. We parked the car and sat on a blanket and soaked up the fresh air and a little sunshine here and there. We brought baby Beau and Max. It was such a treat. And...there was only one bug!

On another note, dinner was a disappointment. I found myself with a pretty good appetite, yet no desire to eat what sat before me. Again came my massive desire for comfort food (i.e., ANYTHING THAT I ACTUALLY DESIRE EATING!!!). I looked at my plate and could feel my throat contract. I ate a bite of my baked potato and nearly gagged. Okay...no potato this evening. I tried the spinach and actually made it through a few bites only to find my throat constricted at the thought of any more. So, I drank my soup as quickly as I could and that was that.

The emotions that went along with this lack of appetite - correction: lack of desire to eat from my Gerson menu - were the same ones that hit me the last time I was going through this. I certainly wouldn't call it overwhelmed, but more like pumped full of emotion - emotion that felt like a slew of tears were waiting to burst out of my face. I noticed they were there and available if I was up for it. Instead, I chose to just ignore it and stick with a blank stare at a plate of...well...food.

It still amazes me - and disappoints me - that there is such a powerful connection between emotion and food. I was imagining all types of delicious, greasy junk food sitting in front of me. Heavens knows I would probably be sick as a dog if I ate like that right now (not that I would!), but man-oh-man my mind was just going crazy thinking about not just junk food, but anything and everything that I would LOVE to eat, had I not committed myself to the Gerson Therapy. Hell, I'd probably cry tears of joy if I could just eat a single bowl of Cheerios!!!...and get away with it...

Well, it's time for me to turn off the computer and go eat my yogurt. whi-hew. yogurt. Ah, well. Tomorrow's another day and all this may just be gone when I wake up...[fingers crossed].

If I Could Do Anything Right Now...

The thought crossed my mind pretty randomly this morning: If I could do anything right now...?...I would go for a walk. I would tuck in my shirt (just like my Dad used to always tell me to do - not like I ever listened to him back then) put on a nice warm sweater so I stay good and warm, grab a little snack to take with me, and take a long quiet walk along the same roads I've walked countless times since we moved here. I would find myself a wide open space where the sun could warm my face to the point that I forget it's even cold outside. And I would watch the wind blow across the fields and into the trees - it's so beautiful. Eventually, I would lay on my back and stare into the sky for what always seems like hours. And then my simple time of solitude would suddenly end either because a bug crawled on me or because I mistook one too many blades of grass rubbing on my hand or face for a bug that I have very little interest in. No, I don't really care for bugs crawling on my skin, even when I am 1,000 miles away from myself staring into the sky.

That's one of the few reasons why I enjoy winter. I love getting bundled up in my snow gear and finding a nice peaceful place where I can lay down on my back and stare into the endless black sky. It's quiet and peaceful and the sounds of human chaos are muffled by a thick heavy blanket of snow. I can lay there as long as I want to staring at the stars because I know that no bugs will crawl on my skin.

However, since you don't get descent warmth without some risk of bugs, at least around here, I would take a walk today and watch the first of the Autumn leaves change color. Soon it will be followed by the smell of dry fallen leaves and the sound of them as they crunch under my feet, along with an occasional dried up twig as it snaps hidden under all the leaves and lets me know that Old Man Winter is on his way. Trying to describe it just takes me away. It's tough to describe something so beautiful. No, I'm still not a big fan of bugs, but it's pretty up here in Upstate New York.

It's Getting Better All the Time

Today I spoke to Liam (a friend from Ireland who I met at the Baja Clinic) and I just found out about his incredible success. This is a man who was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma - it had metastasized to two lymph nodes in his groin, a third outside his stomach and a fourth in his chest. He was given 6 months to live, unless he did chemotherapy & radiation for which they gave him 18 months to live. His oncologist told him to get his finances in order.

It has been just under four months since Liam started the Gerson Therapy and three of the four tumors have vanished!!!

My conversation with Liam today gave me a new found hope. I've said it before and I'll say it again - this stuff works! I have a very clear vision of the future that I am living into: 100% healed & fully in tact. Yes, my mind does tend to keep sneaking disempowering thoughts into my head when I'm not paying attention and then I snap out of it and put myself back into a positive space. Just this morning after I spoke to Liam, my creative mind had already found an opportunity to question whether this will work for me. As if it's searching for an opportunity to bring me down. Fortunately, I have no question that this therapy works for me. And yes, I do believe that our minds have two side sides to them - that which empowers us and that which disempowers us - and we get to choose which we want to listen to.

However, I have also begun to see patterns in both my body's reactions to the therapy as well as my mind's response to these reactions. My body's response to the therapy isn't much different than it was in the beginning, yet my mind is happy to try and find opportunities to steer me down a disempowering path. However, the disempowering thoughts in my mind are starting to occur as annoying background noise. It won't be long before the cancer in my body starts to disappear.

Congratulations on your hard work and incredible attitude Liam! The joy in your family is apparent and I am incredibly happy for you!!! Brilliant!!!!!!!!

Finally Up to Speed

I finally feel like I'm up to speed. The various agents that were injected into me - radioactive sugar & then iodine - and whatever it was I was required to drink in order to do the scan, left me feeling like I had a four alarm hangover from the mornings of my far more recreational years - yet it was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon. And whether I ever had a hangover at 4 o'clock in the afternoon is nothing I plan on disclosing anytime soon. I imagine being so cleaned out from this therapy has resulted in my body being far more sensitive to the slew of chemicals that went inside me then it was during my first set of scans.

Prior to the scans, I was reading every morning and afternoon. Since the scans (on Friday), I have only read once and that was today. In the mean time, I have been watching movies and old television programs. It seems easiest to lay staring at the TV until my head is clear. Not that I have a problem with watching movies - it just surprised me that the scans had such an impact on me. I'm glad there will be no more anytime soon!

Holiday Cards

So to respond to comments and email questions I have received about my September 10th entry:

A sigmoidoscopy can provide more perspective. And, it can also irritate the tumor and cause increased bleeding (i.e., possibly damage the tumor) which will impede my ability to do the Gerson Therapy. Specifically, I would be at risk of not being able to do coffee breaks/enemas.

If enemas were done in our ears, doing a sigmoidoscopy would be a no brainer. At this point, as long as the cancer has not grown, I won't take any unnecessary risks and jeopardize my ability to implement the therapy. We can do camera in the butt for Christmas. Heck, I could even use the images for a holiday card! Or maybe a New Years letter.

Pain in My Butt

I have decided to post-pone my sigmoidoscopy. The test results on Friday say a lot and I don't think it's wise to stick a camera into my rectum if I don't need to (kind of a no brainer, huh?). It's an invasive procedure and could very possibly cause irritation to the tumor (which apparently hasn't fled yet).

Bold little thing isn't it. It's amazing that a tumor - something that receives, very likely, no love whatsoever it's entire life - will forge ahead as long as it possibly can. Like a shark without a mother. Unbelievable. Well, what are you gonna do?

Maybe I'll do a sigmoidoscopy in the future...

The Fire Has Been Contained

I have received the results from my PT & CAT scans: the cancer has had ZERO growth since I was originally diagnosed. That is incredible news. Rectal Cancer grows at a rate of one stage per year and it has been six-months since I was diagnosed. Zero growth since that time? The Gerson Therapy is definitely working.

Now, you may wonder why the cancer in my body has been contained while others have had the growth reversed. Well, there are two reasons:
1) I am only doing 10 juices out the 13 because
2) I am only doing 3 coffee breaks a day and only 25% of the coffee in my coffee breaks - in other words, in each coffee break, I do 4 oz. of coffee (plus chamomile & aloe) while my fellow patients from the clinic are doing something like 16 oz. of coffee & 1 oz. of water.

So, the fire has been contained - now it's just a matter of putting it out. And with that in mind, I plan to meet with Dr. Cervantes this week and request that my current therapy plan be intensified so that the cancer starts to disappear.

I have yet to be excited about the test results. However, I do feel very much at ease and far more relaxed about the whole process than I did Friday afternoon. I am greatly relieved to know that now it's only a matter of time.

Welcome Maryam

Maryam started with us on Sunday. Jackie trained Maryam on Sunday and Monday and she is off to a great start. It's wonderful to have Maryam with us. We look forward to a healthy future with her.

Update

I have a CAT scan and a PT scan scheduled for Friday September 7th. I expect results early next week. I also have a pre-
sigmoidoscopy meeting with a gastro-intestinal doctor on Wednesday September 12th.

Bert on a Stick

I am happy and surprised to say that my appetite is back. Can you believe it? I haven't had a real appetite since I first got to the clinic. And now I eat everything that is served to me and then more between meals. Unfortunately, I no longer challenge my siblings for the opportunity to don the crown of the King of the Clean Plate Club [I believe those regal days ended when I was about 10 years old].

Anyway, I am hoping I put on a little weight while I am at it. I am not underweight, although, I am back down to the weight I was in the early 90's: 127 lbs. Yup. If you didn't know me then, you probably don't know that I was quite thin. I look like "Bert on a Stick." The only danger is that I am nearly invisible unless you look at me head-on. I also fear that on a windy fall day, I just might be blown away never to be seen again! Ah, the woes of Gerson Therapy.

Americana Jubilee - A Benefit Concert

The Americana Jubilee III

a one day mini-festival celebrating the Americana music of the Finger Lakes Region

Saturday Sept. 29th from 3PM to 1AM

at The Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg, NY

On Saturday September 29th, the local community will have the opportunity to celebrate the Americana music of the Finger Lakes Region at the Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg, NY. The Americana Jubilee III is in its third year and will feature numerous local musicians on two stages with performances rotating between the electric stage and the acoustic stage, thus providing 10 hours of continuous music.

This year's event will be a fund raiser for the Bert Scholl Fund. Bert Scholl is a local musician who is currently battling cancer using costly alternative methods that are not covered by health insurance. Bert was the master of ceremonies at last year's Jubilee and performed in it with his band Route 5 the year prior. The Americana Jubilee will be sponsored by Ithaca Beer who will be providing Ithaca Beer specials. Entrance to the event will be $7.

Performance Line-Up
3:00 Regina O'Brien
4:00 The El Caminos
5:00 The Dregs
6:00 Chicken Tractor
7:00 Juge Greenspun
8:00 Urban Horse Thieves
9:00 The Common Railers
10:00 The MacGuillicuddies
11:00 Richie Stearns
12:00 Hubcap

If you are unable to attend and would still like to make a contribution,all donations will be graciously received at:

The Bert Scholl Fund

c/o Jane Schantz

48 Marsh Road
Ithaca, NY 14850

Thank you to every one of you have contributed to us in any way, shape or form. Without you, none of this would be possible.

We Love You...and we will miss you!!!

Yesterday was Jackie's last day with us. It was a very emotional day for all of us. Jackie did more than just work for us. For three months Jackie became a part of our family - with us every step of the way. She was with us when the day would begin and she was with us when the day ended. She stepped up to the plate when we had no one to cover the shifts when what she wanted to do was go somewhere... anywhere quiet and far away from juicers, crying babies, the chopping of veggies and the momentary looks of insanity from Daniela as she couldn't imagine how we were going to get through this (keeping in mind that my looks of insanity were from the comfort of the couch as I read wonderful books and drank freshly squeezed juice!).

Jackie took on whatever needed to be done - standing by Daniela's side - as the two of them occasionally found themselves with no idea how to pull everything together, and yet they did. She brought joy and laughter (and one sick sense of humor - very nice I might add) into our home at a time when we could not have needed it more. I could go on and on about how Jackie contributed to us in so many ways, but I believe what would put it best is:

Jackie, what you did for us is what any person would do for someone they loved in order to keep that person alive. You barely knew us, yet you came onto our home and took on that commitment and did for us what few people can ever understand. For that we will be forever grateful to you Jackie. Forever. As much as we will miss having you in our home, we look forward to hearing from you about what you have created in what we know will be an incredible life.

We love you.

Vivienne

My sister, Vivienne, was here for five days to visit. It was an absolute joy to have her here. It was the first time I have seen her since I was diagnosed and she hasn't been here since last winter. We had a wonderful time together as we always do. It was quite difficult to see her go.

Thanks

I am feeling much better lately, though I am still quite tired throughout each day. I definitely have been feeling like some change is happening - some positive change. Especially since I have been tired a lot - it's a good detox sign. As I have been resting, I have been reading a lot of books followed by regular naps as often as my body needs it. I have to say I have finally found comfort in being on bed rest. In fact, I am finally absolutely comfortable resting and being taken care of day after day. It's a treat to be guilt free throughout this process. And, as always, I am incredibly grateful for all that is provided to me.

It is an amazing experience watching all of you wonderful folks return week after week to help us with all the food prep we have. In fact, without your help, this would in no way be possible for us. We have been blessed with an incredible community of generous people.

Thank you to each of you who have provided us your time here at the house, your wonderful cards, your prayers and your financial contributions. Each of you have made it possible for my family to make this therapy a reality for me. We are incredibly grateful to all of you. I sometimes wonder if you can even imagine what it means to us and the difference you are making. We love you.