Saturday, January 5, 2008

Letting Go Some More

Last night I woke up at 1:15 am. The reason I woke was this point I think I can say rectum without causing utter panic. I guess I'm still not 100% comfortable referencing my rectum. I'm a bit surprised by that. But hey, I'm doing all right talking about a whole lot of other stuff, so I'll take the credit for that and allow myself to find my way to comfort with regular rectal references! So, last night I woke up at 1:15 am because my rectum was stinging. Nothing terrible, but enough to wake me up and keep me from sleeping.

Now I knew a cold pack would reduce the stinging some, yet with no promise of sleeping. However, I was certain that an enema would end the stinging completely. Why? Because the stinging is a result of toxins moving through the body and building up at the exit - ready to complete their mission. As inconvenient as it is, it's a good sign that the increase to 11 juices each day has intensified my detox process. So, I tossed and turned a few times as I considered whether I wanted to do an enema at 1:15 am. Where I was left is that if I did an enema, I would have a less than ideal nights sleep, but the stinging would end. If I did not do the enema, I would have a less than ideal nights sleep and experience the "joy" of the said stinging rectum. Hmm. That was easy and down the stairs I went.

Forty-five minutes later I was back in bed with no stinging what so ever. I think I may have placed an ice pack on my backside to reduce some external soreness. It was my fifth enema of the day and I was a bit sore because for the past few days I had been struggling a little too hard to retain the enemas for the full twelve minutes as opposed to just following my body's lead - or may I say my rectum's lead - and simply retaining the enema for as long as I am able and not being influenced by my desire to hold it for the full 12 - 15 minutes. Twelve to fifteen minutes is ideal but not when it compromises my well being and has me dealing with soreness. So today, I did not struggle to retain the enema. If my muscles contracted - letting me know it was time to release it - then I did exactly that; I let my muscles have the ease they need to make this process work.

Always letting go: letting go of my attachment to sleeping (seems a bit odd, eh?) and letting go of my desire for how I think the enema should go...and letting go! Because the bottom line is that each time I let go of having it go my way, I find myself a little happier and generally feeling better pysically. And, hopefully, I won't be doing any late night enemas tonight!

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