Monday, May 28, 2007

Reflection

I have traveled to many places in the United States and a few spots across the Atlantic and I have never felt homesick. Today I am homesick. I sat on the beach within feet of the Mexican border fence just watching the people on the side of the United States and thinking about how far away those few feet really are. It's amazing to look at my home and not be able to to simply take a few steps and be there. There were children on the Mexican side of the beach walking through the holes in the fence to the United States. Then they turned around and ran back to Mexico. The border patrol was watching them and an American woman walking on the U.S. side. A fence...hmm. Wow. Reality check.

Right now my legs ache, my back aches, my head hurts, my stomach hurts, I miss my family, I miss my job & being at work with all my residents, I miss my friends and neighbors, and going on walks with the dogs, and I'm sick of eating the same damn thing every day - vegetables. I'm constantly craving meat and cheese with the cheese melting all over the place with a nice side of bacon. Mmmm, and a milkshake. And a coke and roast beef sub from Wegman's with too much mayonnaise. And a cheeseburger. Man, oh man. And, there's no way on God's green earth that I would eat anything but what's on the Gerson diet. Restraint is not the problem, but the cravings are a bitch.

And I can not wait to hear people speaking English everywhere I go. Don't get me wrong. I love being around people speaking Spanish and experiencing this country AND, the language thing is a constant reminder that I am not at home. I am more than ready to be at home and I am definitely counting the days.

4 comments:

  1. Hi Sweetie;
    When we were in Buenos Aires we got a good deal of pleasure and frustration trying to speak Spanish. The day before we left, I think it was the 12th day, a waitress in a very [1970's]Ithaca like restaurant said "English?" and then she smiled and said "Or do you want to practice your Spanish?" I replied, "English." It was exhausting trying to keep up in Spanish. Suddenly I had a fair idea of what it is like for our Exchange Students.
    You'll be home soon, love.
    So many people stop and ask me how you are.
    xoxomama

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  2. hello to you! i miss you. My brother did some patroling at that border patrol!He said that it was a sobering experience. We are putting together quite the task force for you back home and we will so waiting for you to come home. XXXXXOOOOOO love to you , Michelle

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  3. Steve,
    All of us over on this side miss you, too!!! I just figured out Skype today so email me your Skype ID and we can cam-chat... or whatever it is the kids are calling it these days... and don't worry, your homesickness will pass, I promise! : )
    xoxosteve

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  4. Bert,

    I hope that you don’t mind me trying to express Jim’s thoughts as he says them to me. Believe it or not, I don’t think that he has ever spent more than 5 minutes on a computer in 20 years! He wants you to know that he continues to admire how you are handling what you are going through and he really looks forward to and enjoys when I read him your postings! He wants you to look back at what you have accomplished in the past two weeks and through keeping your focus on those exact things that you are talking about, your family, your job, your dogs, your friends, your country, etc., you will make it through the next week. He said that while at a counseling session years ago before his treatment, he told his counselor that he just didn’t think that he had anything left to go on with, and the counselor said…oh yes you do! You have more that you could ever imagine, and you will make it through this! And he did just that, he kept going and then the day came where the treatment was finally there that would change the rest of his life! You as well, will make it through this! And here I am trying to give up SODA and baked goods…and I am struggling with that! Be very proud of yourself young man! You have a precious family here just waiting for you…and I am sure that once you are home, they will continue to inspire you in making these life changes!

    We continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

    Take care of yourself and keep the faith!

    As ever,

    Jim and Patti Maybee
    May 29, 2007

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