Covering A Lot of Territory

Yesterday, Daniela told me that it's nice to have me back. She said my energy has returned and that I hadn't been like this since before I went to Mexico. That was good to hear - that I am progressing. Today, after a minute or so of conversation with me, my Mom said she was stunned by the energy she saw in me and she also said she hadn't seen me like this since before I went to the clinic. I don't feel a whole lot different, but I am also clear that being in the thick of it for so long with so many ups an downs can make it more difficult for me to notice the changes that others observe.

I am also happy to report that I have successfully done the Castor Oil treatment four times now, and Sunday (12/30) will be the fifth. Each time I have ingested a little more Castor Oil. On Sunday, I will ingest 2/3 of the standard dose and I look forward to another success.

I am up to four coffee breaks a day which is a huge break through for me. I was not doing even three because of the pain/soreness I experienced. Clearly, being off of the pharmaceuticals has resulted in my having less pain. Now that may sound a little odd, but Gerson Therapy is so cleansing that even pain killers eventually contribute to pain due the build up of the toxic chemicals within them and these toxins irritate the tumor (as well as inhibit the effectiveness of the enzymes ingested in the daily juices. Another reason I am able to do four enemas a day is that I do sitz baths in Chamomile tea with a splash of hydrogen peroxide to reduce soreness and I am happy to say it works quite well. [Did I mention that in a previous entry? Maybe...ah, well.] The Chamomile sitz baths really work quite well. Hmm. Chamomile Tea: I use it in my sitz baths; I drink in it lieu of water as well as to neutralize toxic bile passing through my intestines; and I use in it my coffee enemas to soothe the tumor and prevent irritation. Very useful tea, Chamomile. Amazing how it seems to...well...cover a lot of territory in this therapy.

...With Deep Gratitude

I have had wonderful days lately. On Sunday I was re-presenced to the huge opportunity this cancer provides me. The opportunity to transform how I live my life: how I eat, how I sleep, how I think...how I love the people dearest to me... I could probably go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

So much of my life prior to this diagnosis, was focused on convenience. I did what I wanted to do and even when I could feel it wasn't best for me, I forced my way through because I wanted what ever it was I wanted: a few extra cocktails were compensated for with more coffee in the morning; skipped lunch so I could get more done at the office and then drank soda or coffee to push me through to dinner. "Oops! I can't wait until dinner - I'm starving and Burger King's right there - it will hold me over." "Hmm...it's bed time but I really want to watch the rest of this movie. I'll just sleep in a little later, power up with coffee and eat breakfast in the car." Living half the time unconscious and unaware and the other half unwilling to do what my body needs created a limited life - limited to managing a lot of...a lot of what is just unnecessary and it pulls at me and keeps me from the things most dear to me. To always push myself this way didn't allow for me to enjoy so many moments of my life because so much of it was being spent managing my self-created suffering.

Since my diagnosis, my entire day is spent listening to my body (minus a few of the times you read where I was...um...pushing myself too hard) and as a result of listening to my body, I am clear that I just don't have the constitution to live like I used to. Am I saying that was the cause of my having cancer? Not at all. If that was the case, tons of 37 year old men would have cancer, so thank God that is not the case! But the cancer got me to see that there is a far more enjoyable life available to me when I slow down and participate in those things that are truly important: #1 family; #2 health; #3 peacefulness throughout my day.

Peacefulness while I am with my family, i.e., getting ready in the morning and enjoying being with them, rather than rushing through the house and out the door with no time to spare because I did not get a sufficient nights rest and tried to make up for it by sleeping longer than I have time for. Lately, going at my body's pace has provided happiness...and sometimes it's not happiness because I do resist sometimes, but it does provide me with ease. It doesn't mean I'm not going to live with the passion that I have always lived with. That ain't ever gonna change!!! I just see that there's far more available to me out doing fewer things well than many things adequately and being a wonderful father, husband, brother and son is something I am committed to doing quite well. And that is certainly different from what I experienced nine or so months ago when I was just spreading myself far too thin - who I'm committed to being just wasn't an option the way I was doing it. The opportunity to have this realization and have grow within me, because I am home healing myself of cancer, is something I experience with deep gratitude.

My Body's Pace

Christmas was wonderful and I am feeling great. So many things are going well right now. Coffee breaks have become far more tolerable since I have found a technique that allows me ease in the process of retaining them for the full twelve minutes: two different visualization techniques and taking the coffee in two parts. Because of my success with this technique, I went and tried to retain the whole thing at once this afternoon. I retained it for almost 12 minutes...and I was sore after that because I had been struggling to do so. Another example of me pushing myself beyond a great success. It's tough to give that up. It's an old habit, but not a healthy one. So, again I will listen to my body one more way - going at my body's pace.

Also, when I stopped taking Nexium (antacid) I started taking DGL (De-Glycyrrhizinated Licorice) which is 100% natural and doesn't have any negative impact on my therapy. I took two with each meal until today for which I took one. In a couple days I wil take none. I look forward to having a healed stomach and being able to eat raw onions and tomatoes - SALSA! - can't wait. It's very exciting to be on my way back to healthy again.

Merry Christmas

For all who celebrate and all who do not,
Merry Christmas!

Good Signs

I have eaten salad for the last week and I am loving it. I haven't eaten salad in about 9 months because all that roughage had been...well...a little tough on the old tumor. I'm guessing the thing must be shrinking because now I can eat salad with no problem. And it definitely adds to the meal, which I am happy to announce has been a pleasure to eat lately. Okay, maybe not a pleasure, but I eat my meals without a problem lately and considering that I used to just stare at my plate and get nauseas (!!!) it sure feels good to have salad added to an already good meal.

Another good sign is a change that I didn't even realize had happened. For the first six months of this therapy, I experienced dull pain in my legs - from my hips to the bottoms of my feet - following every coffee break. Yes, I said every coffee break. It would usually last for a half-an-hour or so. For what I'm guessing has been the last few weeks, I have had no leg pain what so ever. It just dawned on me one day - "Where's my leg pain?"And it gets better. I told Charlotte about it and she said the pain was a result of the tumor touching nerves. Well, if the pain no longer exists, I'm led to believe that this tumor of mine just might be shrinking.

So Many Wondeful Gifts

We received some wonderful news today. Friends of ours have made an agreement to provide housing to one of their family friends in exchange for that person providing 15 hours of support here in our home each week. Now don't get me wrong, plenty of folks have been incredibly generous in so many ways and I could type pages just letting you know about the boundless generosity we experience from all that so many of you provide [hmm...maybe I should do that sometime] but this just happened at a time that Daniela and I really needed a hand.

As I stated in entry below, Kate's last day was Friday and with her gone, there is A LOT more for Daniela and our helping hands to do around here. I helped out this evening, but I can’t help all the time and there's never any telling when I'm going to have a detox flare-up and be down for a few days. So, this just couldn't have been at a better time. A little pre-Christmas Christmas gift.

Joy and Ease

Friday was Kate's last day and it was difficult to see her go. Having Kate in our home wasn't just beneficial because she did an excellent job. (And by the way...Kate did an excellent job.) Kate's presence here was a contribution to our household as a result of who she is as a person. She brought joy and ease into our home and now is definitely a time when joy and ease go a long way. Joy and ease was in the work she did and it was in the way she communicated. Kate brought plenty of laughter and playfulness as well as a healthy amount of sarcasm (a necessary evil in our home).

Fortunately, Kate is a local person so we look forward to seeing her again soon - on the schedule!!! [ha-ha!] Kate was here with us because she simply wanted to be a contribution. Isn't that something? Oh yeah. I made Daniela check her references after the interview because I was certain this woman was out of her mind (the cat's out the bag now, Kate). I was wrong and thrilled to be at that.

Kate thank you for giving us your time and your energy as well as the peace and comfort that you bring with you where ever you go. And thank you Jeff for agreeing to you wonderful wife's request to let her come live with us as a part of our team. Have a wonderful Christmas. We love you and we miss you already.

Boundless Generosity

We received some wonderful news today. Some friends of ours - a couple - recently took on a long-term house guest. In exchange for his stay, they asked him to provide us 15 hours of support here in our home each week. Now don't get me wrong, plenty of folks have been incredibly generous in so many ways and I could type pages just letting you know about the boundless generosity we experience from all that so many of you provide [hmm...maybe I should do that sometime] but this just happened at a time that Daniela & I were starting to get pretty nervous. Kate's last day was Friday and I will certainly share how wonderful it was to have her here, but now that she is gone, there's A LOT more for Daniela to do around here. I helped out this evening, but there's never any telling when I'm going to have a detox flare-up and be down for a few days. So, meeting this guy (plus his two friends who will also help out) just couldn't have been at a better time.

Time for Your Castor Oil!

So, I did my first castor oil treatment today which consists of taking castor oil orally and then followed five hours later with a castor oil enema (which is my normal coffee enema plus two tablespoons of castor oil) to draw out the castor oil that has passed through the digestive track. Now, it's important to note that I did a modified version of the treatment because I only took one teaspoon of castor oil orally (one-sixth of the normal amount) and I ingested it in a gel capsule as opposed to drinking it straight. The gel cap was so it would be easy on my stomach and small amount of castor was so it would be easy on the way out - apparently the castor oil can really sting on the way out because of the toxins it collects moving through the digestive system. Where the concern lies for me is that the sting could be much worse because it passes directly over the tumor as it passes out of the body, so we started with ingestion of a very small portion of castor.

With all that now understood, I am happy to report that the castor oil in no way bothered my stomach and didn't sting at all on the way out. So, since castor is an every other day treatment, my next treatment will be on Monday and I will increase the amount of castor to two or three teaspoons and see how that passes through me.

Charlotte makes it very clear that the castor oil part of Gerson Therapy is an essential component and I've slowly begun to incorporate it into my program. I am clear that I will be ridding my body of this tumor much sooner than later and I am very excited about that.

Christmas Cuteness

I just had to share this with you. It is so incredibly cute and it shows you the kind of joy I have in each day!



Next time I'll move all of the unnecessary items out of the way. I'm still a newbie with the video camera...

This Morning's Ultrasound

I have just arrived home from my ultrasound and it appears that I have Cholelithiasis and Cholecycstitis also known as gall stones and an inflamed gall bladder (clearly from passing a large stone or more on Monday night).

I have an appointment with a General Surgeon next week to review my options.

I can now say with certainty that passing gall stones is something you NEVER want to experience. It's Friday and I'm still sore from it. I am curious to hear from a woman who has given birth and also passed gall stones to find out how they compare (since giving birth is something I have yet to do and likely will not do in this life time). Considering the pain I was in on Monday, it's got to be at least a close second.

Flare-Up Day Three

I thought I'd let you know that I am on day three of a really lousy detox flare-up which began on Monday at 10 PM with what felt like my liver or gall bladder trying to pass something for, oh, 7 hours! Yeah, a bit tough. So, now I am trying to sleep and "movie" my way through a "flu & cold" symptom flare-up that started on Tuesday afternoon, not to mention the upper-right quadrant of my abdomen is still quite sore.

This is the third time I have had the brutally painful experience of passing something through my liver or gall bladder or what ever it is (but the first two only lasted one hour). So, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that will hopefully be immediately followed by a ultra-sound so I have can have some clarification as to what is happening and if I'm really lucky, figure out how to never have to experience this again.

I've written as much as I can handle - the aches and pains are wearing me down. I'll write more on another day. If you're in Upstate New York, enjoy the snow. It's beautiful from in here...

The Time Slipped Past Me

Wow, I haven't posted anything in a week - whoops! Sorry. It's been a tough week for me and I'm sure that's why I forgot to write. Honestly, I spent the last week worried about the repercussions for increasing my coffee when I wasn't supposed to. Worried about what I had gotten myself into. The pain is definitely way down, so it's not like I should be worried. But I just was. And of course beneath all of that is the question: Has the tumor shrunk? Is the cancer disappearing. There are just some days that I start to wonder and I guess this last week seemed to have a lot of those days.

On a better note, I spoke to Dr. Cervantes on Saturday and he said I'll be just fine. I am doing two coffee breaks instead of three and eight juices instead of ten. Dr. Cervantes had no concern about the pain and saw it merely as a temporary set back. He said it would just be a matter of time with consistent bed rest and patience - something I'm a bit familiar with.

It does feel good to have Christmas coming up. We have a little Christmas music on each day. I love the traditional songs I grew up with and of course we put on some fun Christmas carols for the kids. Our one year old seems to enjoy them more then the nine year old who occasionally rolls his eyes (although he does enjoy joining us when ever we sing them to the little one!).

Appetite At Last

I have been happily eating my meals for the last month or so - with plenty of appetite and enjoying what's on my plate. Now, I'm not going to pretend it's what I want on my plate, but I am happy to eat it. Part of that has to do with some nice recipes and some delicious combinations of food Daniela has found - she's amazing.

I also feel completely satisfied once I have finished my meal. Quite a nice, new and different experience for me. Daniela has also found a nice Gerson baked apple & oats desert that I have for desert almost every night with the 8 oz. of plain, fat-free organic yogurt I am required to eat every night.

Speaking of meals, it's tijme for dinner. Gotta go!

Gratitude

In the last few days I have been having some major relief. It seems that reducing the juices to six per day and coffee breaks to two per day has greatly reduced the amount of toxins coming into contact with the tumor...the tumor. Lately that word has been one that I find less desirable to type or say out loud. And that's, no doubt, a result of my still hanging on to what I thought my healing on Gerson Therapy would look like. When I decided to go to Mexico, I told my supervisor that I would be out of work for a month and then back at the office managing the therapy while I work my forty-plus hours a week.

So where am I now? Not even close to that. Is there a feeling of disappointment for me? Yes, there is. But I'm clear it's not based on the effectiveness of this therapy. It based on my expectation that the therapy would look a certain way or happen at a certain rate, specifically, not how it looks right now or the rate at which it's happening right now. So, my practice, as it has been from the beginning, is again letting go of my expectations of life looking or happening a certain way. When I step back and look at everything a little more objectively, I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have this therapy available to me and to have Dr. Cervantes available to me to turn things around when I have problems like the pain I am currently managing and seemingly disappearing.

I would also like to say it's a privilege to have the support I have from so many of you each day. Daniela, the boys and I thank you for all you provide for us.

****************************************************************************
On another note, it feels like I've been far away from the blog lately and it gives me a good feeling to be writing and updating you again. We received a nice soft blanket of snow today along with the edges of the creek beginning freeze up a little. It's very pretty (especially from inside of our cozy little house - knowing I'm not going anywhere right now!)

Lately...

I am very happy to say that I have not had a detox flareup in about a week. Man-oh-man are those flare-ups tough. Thank goodness there's so much time between them this far into the therapy. I sure hope I haven't just cursed myself! Now, I'm still not pain free. I am still managing the pain I created from putting too much coffee in my coffee breaks. However, I am also happy to say I have had some relief from that pain as well.

As I have had time to think about all of this (time is one thing I have a lot of), I've realized that I have had conflicting thoughts about this therapy. I am clear that it as a very powerful therapy, yet at the same time, I altered my coffee intake and thought, "No problem. This will make things even better." Well, now I can see that I was not thinking it all the way through. If I can just alter the therapy here and there, it ain't saying much about the therapy. Well, the piece I was leaving out has is now real clear. This therapy is powerful and is not to be messed with. And with that in mind, I am following the doctor's orders to a "T."

Life here at the house has also been a little easier for Daniela and Kate who currently don't have to do the 10-juice regiment for me every day. I can't say it's a vacation for them (I'd probably get hit in the head with a flying shoe!) but it has provided a little free time for them and I know they appreciate that (even if it's not under ideal conditions).

Doctor's Recommendation

The good doctor has recommended that I not take a break from coffee breaks, but instead do two
a day and only six juices a day for 10 days and then see how I feel. I started yesterday.

Also, the benefit show was also last night. I hope everyone had a great time. Thanks again.

Relief...and How!

We have a new live in aide with us. Her name is Kate and she started last week. Kate will be with us until the week before Christmas. She is absolutely wonderful - she brings joy and ease to our home. What a treat.

Note: It's our intention to find a replacement for her once she is done here, so keep your ears open - you may find the one!

Oh Yeah...I Might Let You Know How I'm Doing

I am doing fairly well. I am not 100% over this pain situation. I think the extra coffee I used in my coffee breaks really did a number on me because I still haven't shaken it. I am waiting to hear back from Dr. Cervantes - I asked if I should just take a couple days off from the coffee breaks so the irritated area of the tumor can get a couple of days free from all the bile that's passing it by and irritating it on the way out. Maybe if the tumor can get a break from all of that for a couple days, I'll be "100%" again.

I have not had any flare-ups in the last couple days. While the internet was down and I wasn't able to post anything, I was having a lot off flare-ups. My legs ached all the time and my appetite was really minimal. And they usually happened together. I would sit down to eat and then my body would start to feel warm and then hot. Then my stomach would get a little off - not nauseous, but a little...queasy I guess, along with a lack of appetite. Then my legs would start to ache and it would get bad enough that I would lay down and Daniela would rub them for me. And now, as it goes, I am not experiencing that at all. So, once this butt pain (oh that's right - this Hmm-mm-mmm pain) goes away, I might even be able to feel some what normal again.

Thanksgiving was great. The house didn't smell of turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce (actually, I don't know if the house ever smelled of cranberry sauce...?), although it did smell of Gerson stuffing and sweet potatoes. I wouldn't call it a close 2nd, but family and friends were present and that's what matters to me most on Thanksgiving as it is my favorite holiday. And I felt deeply grateful to them as they each sat down at our table and ate a Gerson Thanksgiving with me. They said it didn't feel like much of an effort - they were happy to do it. But to me, it was a great honor to have them step away from their traditional Thanksgiving meals to support me on my not-so-traditional path to wellness. I was honored.

I am incredibly grateful to all of you whose support shows up in countless ways. Reading my blog, sending cards, sending emails, telephone calls, helping at the house, sending a gift, growing produce - I'm sure I've missed many of the ways so many of you have somehow contributed to us, so know that if I didn't mention how you contributed, we are indeed grateful and can not thank you enough. I never experienced so much love in this world or at least not this much love so close by.

If you need a cheer up from all the bad news in the world, check out The Good News Network (GNN). You'd be amazed at the incredible things that are being done every day around the world. The GNN sounded a little corny to me at first until I checked it out and learned about the wonderful generosity of a lot of people and corporations as well.

Have a great weekend!

Benefit Show on Saturday November 24th!

On Saturday November 24th, Don Bazley's annual benefit concert (at Castaway's in Ithaca, NY) will be a tribute to Creedence Clearwater Revival and all funds will be donated to the Bert Scholl Fund.

Daniela, the boys and I are all very grateful for the generosity of Don Bazley, everyone at Castaways, and the following bands and musicians who will be performing:

Don Bazley Projectiles
Chemical Flaw
John Parkins Project
Candy Pants
Mortal Combine
Farenheit 420
Peggy Lecuyer & Fabulous Friends

Click on this link to read the article in the Ithaca Journal's Ticket.

Unfortunately, will not be present, so thank you in advance if you attend. I'm sure it will be great show.

If you can not attend and you would like to make a contribution you can mail it to:

The Bert Scholl Fund
c/o Jane Schantz
48 Marsh Road
Ithaca, NY 14850

All Is Well!!!

I have not posted because we were having major problems with our internet connection [this is the part where I bash the provider and tell you to never use them - just kidding].

I am well and will post more later this evening.

Flare-Up

I had a whopper of a flare-up today (Monday): legs hurt, upper-half of body ached, slight headache and just about no appetite. I haven't had a flare-up like this in a while. I slept a lot which helped. I try to remember that a flare-up is a sign of the therapy working.

I am finally tired (1:05 AM). I went to bed at around 10:30 PM with no luck. I'm going to try and fall asleep again right now...we'll see...

Over and over and over and over and...

Last night I got pretty angry about this whole thing. Just being so sick of doing this therapy - everything the same time every day over and over and over and blah, blah, blah. It's like the movie Groundhog's Day.

And it's also frustrating to not have the means to do this therapy without the support of others. Don't get me wrong, I love the support we have receive and it's a wonderful experience having so many generous people in our lives. And, there's a certain sense of powerlessness that I experience relying on others - family and friends. Especially as I watch Daniela doing all there is to do daily to make this therapy work then add in taking care of the kids and the household - doing this from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep - occasionally getting a break for an hour or two within any given week. I find myself thinking a lot about this world we live in and looking at life in ways I've yet to find a way to articulate.

I mean, I guess that's just what's so. And all there is to do is accept what's so. But last night for whatever reason, I found myself blood boiling mad about being in this situation. Having to alter our lives and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah in order to live. In order to live. WOW! Just getting my head around that every once in a while is such a trip. Sometimes I forget what this is all about - the seriousness of it all. Partially because I believe 100% in the Gerson Therapy I am doing. And, ya want to know what? I just want a break from all of this and, well...you want to live, you do what you have to do. I can have my break once I'm in the clear. Nothing more to talk about and that's all this entry really is. Just letting you know how I'm doing and last night, well, I went to a very ugly place. A necessary road, but not a pretty one. And I'm glad I got it out. I mean, I'm no stranger to getting angry if I see reason to, but last night, even I was surprised.

I feel better today. Thanks.

Positive Change

I have experienced some very positive change today. I did not take any pain killers for my Hmm-mm-hmm. And, I didn't use my donut pillow at all today - a wooden chair was more comfortable (although I would love a wooden kitchen-type chair with a thick seat cushion. Any ideas where I might find one, please met me know - bertscholl@gmail.com).

So, it's pretty great to be almost pain free - after all I put myself through. Funny how listening to the doctor now and again seems to make a difference...

A Very Different World

I see cancer very differently than I did when I was first diagnosed. I used to view cancer as a nightmare situation in which you hope to be alive when it's all said and done. Now that I am just under six months into the Gerson Therapy, I view cancer as a serious obstacle to any one's life, but I have begun to see it as a circumstance that, in many cases, can be managed so that the body can be returned to optimum health. I am clear that there is yet to be a "silver bullet" that will heal us all, but there are many types of cancer that can be healed naturally with the utilization of the correct therapy. I am by no means opposed to Western Medical approach to cancer - people use it and they survive and that is a beautiful thing. However, I am deeply moved and inspired by what the Gerson Therapy brings to the conversation of cancer as a curable disease.

I have read about one third of the way through "The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell and I have again found myself inside of another profound conversation about how animal protein feeds and stimulates cancer growth and that without animal protein cancer cannot live. And, in "The China Study," Campbell provides the double blind studies that the the scientific world relies upon. The news it delivers - bottom line - is that cancer and other degenerative diseases (heart disease, diabetes, etc.) are curable diseases. Not just survivable, but curable based on the food we eat.

"He who does not know food, how can he understand the diseases of man?"

-Hippocrates, the father of medicine (460-357 B.C.)

So where am I left with all of this?I live in a different world than I lived in six months ago [something I said in the not so distant past]. I now live in a world where people facing the possibility of death from a disease such as cancer have a far greater chance of living a long and healthy life. I am not saying that all people diagnosed with cancer should do the Gerson Therapy, but with therapies such as the Gerson Therapy available and known to others, the chances of life after cancer greatly increases. As far as I'm concerned, the odds of life after cancer just ain't high enough yet and increased odds are a damn good thing. And the internet has provided us the opportunity to take responsibility for our health and wellness like never before. Daniela, my incredible wife and partner in this healing process, found out about Gerson Therapy from the internet - thank goodness! The information is at our finger tips - now we are just required to invest the time in the research.

And where does that take me? Back to my life pre-diagnosis when I had fallen off of the vegetarian "wagon" - miles and miles ago! I wasn't interested in eating as healthy as I knew how. I like cheese burgers. I like pizza. I like milk shakes. I love Krispy Kreme Doughnuts thank you very much. We like to eat what we like to eat. Macaroni and cheese for cryin' out loud. Who doesn't like macaroni and cheese??? If you don't, I don't want to hear it - I'm proving a point [Ha-ha!]. We love our food and it's tough to step away from what we find absolutely delicious. And fortunately, some folks have the genes to not have to worry about it or so it seems. However, the truth is on it's way out. Those of us at risk or in the midst of serious diseases can be free of them by altering our diet if it is the path we choose and that is great news. We ain't talkin' about Nutrition 101, we're talkin' about healing people.

Thank You Sir. May I Please Have Another? Or Maybe Not...

I had a flare-up today - something I haven't experienced in a while or at least it seems that way considering the pain I was dealing with (it has greatly diminished). The flare-up started first thing in the morning with lethargy and...well, just feeling lousy, like when you're at the start of a cold and you feel it in your body. I slept if off this morning.

After lunch aching in the backs of my thighs then it moved into my calves and arms and eventually into my neck, chest and back. I took a triad and it vanished the pain in minutes. Amazing. God Bless you Max Gerson. Then this afternoon I took a dose of pain killer for the great discomfort I've been feeling. I'm feeling slightly ache-ie right now, but nothing I notice unless I stop to think about it. It's the end of a tough day and I finally feel relatively good.

I must say, I still find it to be quite fascinating that something as simple as juices, clean vegan food, coffee enemas and some supplements can create a detox that delivers such whoppers of a detox flare-up - especially the ones I had when I first started the therapy - and then heals the body so it can heal itself of degenerative diseases - what a trip!!! When I'm not in pain, I truly feel blessed.

Volunteer SIgn-Up Calendar

If you would like to put yourself on the Volunteer Sign-Up Calendar and assist us here at the house (we would love to see you and could definitely use your help), simply click on this link http://bert.freevillemusic.com/ then follow the instructions.

Thanks a million!

Love Bert & Daniela

Request for Support

We are currently without a live-in-aide. We are searching for a replacement person, but until we find that person, we are very much in need of assistance here at the house.

If you have thought about putting yourself on the calendar and have not done so yet, now we be a great time. If you have assisted us before, we would be very grateful if you would review the calendar and see if there are any open slots that work for you.

We could very much use your help and we are incredibly grateful to all of you who have made such a difference in our lives. We love you.

If you have any questions, I can emailed at bertscholl@gmail.com.

CoffeeCoffeeCoffee

I believe I have found the source of my extreme discomfort. During my conversation with Dr. Cervantes this afternoon, he let me know that the 10-12 oz. of coffee I had been using in my enemas was causing my liver to release too many toxins into my digestive track and thus irritating the tumor. He explained that with a rectal tumor, no more than 8 oz. of coffee can be used in an enema because of the direct contact the toxins make with the tumor as they pass out of the body.

As soon as I began feeling the discomfort, I reduced the amount of coffee from 12 oz. to 4 oz., so I am already well ahead of the game. I have taken no pain killers today because I have had no pain. I believe with sufficient bed rest, I should be in good shape very soon. It am quite relieved.

The Path I Have Chosen

I have been feeling good the last couple of days. I am taking the doctor's orders very seriously and I have been horizontal - on the couch - every day. I've come to accept (or assume) that with Gerson Therapy and the tumor being located in the rectum, I am likely on a slow course to recovery. Recovery, yes. And slow - patience being key. To be honest, I thought that by now (5 1/2 months into it), I would be on my feet and doing all of the cooking and juicing... Surprise, surprise. Not a chance.

This is where I have to remind myself that my choice to not do the surgery and keep my body in tact, puts me in a situation distinct from some of my fellow Gerson patients. I could have had the tumor removed and a permanent colostomy put in place. The Gerson Therapy would then be done in lieu of chemotherapy and radiation and I would likely be well on my way and in great shape (assuming no complications with surgery). Others I met at Bajanutricare were able to choose that route with little impact on the overall functioning of their bodies. My path requires much more patience rest and patience.

Steadily Progressing Forward

I am feeling much better today. I am sleeping and relaxing throughout the day thus allowing my body to get the rest and lack of movement it needs. Although this return to bedrest initially felt like I was taking a few steps backward, I am clear this is a temporary setback. I recalled this evening how it was only a couple of months ago that I could not pick up a gallon of water without being in pain - that is no longer the case. I have also had other changes in my body (of which I will spare you the details) that are clear signs to me that I am steadily progressing forward. Good things.

Where's the Beef?

This message posted by Howard Straus (the son of Charlotte Gerson) on a Gerson Therapy list serve for which he is the monitor. This is why Gerson Therapy provides sufficient protein (along with two tablespoons of flax seed oil and a small serving of fat-free yogurt every day):

Potatoes, and ALL other vegetables have plenty of protein, many of them have more protein per calorie than meat (because meat is so high in fat). Spinach derives about 50% of its calories from protein, as opposed to less than 1/3 for most animal based foods.

If you satisfy your caloric needs from a variety of vegetables (not fruit), you cannot avoid getting enough protein. This is "except for sweet potatoes and yams." Consider the parts of Earth where these two are the staples: they are also the same places where protein deficiency disease (kwashiorkor) occurs most often.

Go Back From Whence You Came

My pain management regiment has changed - I am now back on bedrest. Not that I've been out in the yard tossing the ole pig skin around, but I have been a little more mobile than I was in the first few months of the therapy. And it seems to my doctor, that is the reason for the pain I am in - not Prostititis, but irritation to the area as a result of too much movement. So, I am back on my back. And with a strong pain killer, since I am starting to go out of mind from this pain down in my Mmm-mm-Mmm.

Just as I thought I had succeeded in the practice of "letting go," I am right back at it. Letting go of my desire to do simple things around the house or walk 30 steps up the road and breath in the sweet Autumn air. I guess I have not succeeded in the practice of "letting go" if I am hoping that I no longer have to do it!!! That would be the practice of "holding out." No to mention that a practice is a practice, not a task.

And that has really brought up what is there for me with this therapy. I have a strong desire for this bedrest part to be over. I want normalcy again. And that being said, I am clear about my commitment to healing however it has to be. So, I'll put my feet back up and I will do this with joy and ease. (It doesn't hurt to have an incredible family and friends who support me all the way. Thanks a million - I love you!)

Coffee anyone?

This evenings dinner-hour detox flare-up was far more tolerable. It was definitely a flare-up but it was only enough discomfort to slow me down. Right now, my legs are definitely aching. I believe I have really sped up my detox over the last few weeks. I spoke to Dr. Cervantes about the amount of coffee in my coffee breaks. He explained the reason for the low amount (4 oz.) was because he had a concern that I had gastritis. So, after that conversation, I increased the coffee to 6 oz. to see how my stomach tolerated it. I experienced no stomach discomfort after a week at 4 oz., so I raised to it to 8 oz. I continued this process and I am currently up to 12 oz. I believe this is the reason for my increase in detox flare-ups - my body is detoxing at a faster rate than it was before. Keep in mind, this is my theory but it seems to be more than a coincidence.

I Vote "No"

Yesterday and this evening (halfway through dinner) at 6:30 PM, I had a one heck of a detox flare-up. It was the same thing both nights: I was seriously lethargic and my body ached from head to toe - muscles & joints. What stood out from other similar flare-ups was the tension in my back muscles. I also had very little appetite. Now, keep in mind, this is a good thing. My body is getting cleaned out. And I am most definitely feeling it.

I only felt relief after my 7 PM coffee break. Who would have guessed that coffee enemas would provide such extraordinary results???

I'll let you know if the flare-up happens again tomorrow. I'm putting in a vote for no.

On My Way

I am feeling better today. It is wonderful to be relieved from the pain I was feeling. I spent most of my time laying down with ice packs - not wanting to get up for anything. It's always a surprise to me how a dull pain can be so debilitating. And I believe I am on my way to being pain free relatively soon.

The other other big change is that my leg pain has been pretty consistent lately. On Thursday evening, Daniela probably spent about a half-an-hour rubbing my legs and feet - which was a great relief (She's good to me).

I must admit, the days I have been pain free have definitely spoiled me.

Article in The Citizen (Auburn, NY)

Last week, David Wilcox came out to the house to do a follow-up article on my use of the Gerson Therapy. Today the Auburn Citizen printed it. It was a great article. Click here if you would like to have a look at it.

pomp & circumstance

The on-gpoing soreness has changed in sensation and it seems I may be dealing with a little prostitis, for which I'm taking an antibiotic. Dr. Cervantes has also recommended I take two different herbal rememdies - Saw Palmetto and something he called Pygeum Africanum. He also recommended that I take probiotics after I am done with the antibiotics. Yes, these are things I have heard of (except for the Beechum Africana), but I have to say, I love that my MD is recommending which herbs to use. That's not common in my world.

The last two nights I woke up around 3 AM in too much pain to sleep. So, I came downstairs, applied an ice pack, popped in a DVD (reading takes too much out of me when I'm in pain) and watched half a movie to which I fell asleep. Right now as I'm typing, I'm shifting around trying to find different sitting/laying positions that will result in less pain. Although I'm having no luck. My legs still ache every day - on & off - and earlier I felt nauseous for a couple of hours. To tell you the truth, I'm looking forward to the end of all this pomp & circumstance so I can just do my therapy and be free of all of these detox flare-ups which are supposed to end sometime soon. So how am I doing? I am really tired of being in pain. And...what are ya gonna do?

On another note, it has become down right odd being away from work for this long. Feelings of guilt occasionally slip in and then I think to myself, "Hmm. What ever inconveniences may exist as a result of my not being at the office, you can be certain your co-workers would choose that over having cancer." For the most part, I rarely remember what it feels like to know that someone else has cancer. Yes that probably sounds odd, but for me it has become so normalized, that I have to remember that my perspective was quite different when I was only a quiet outside observer of the world of cancer - knowing little and wanting to know less.

Occasionally, a thought will pop up as they have in the past, where I'll think, "Holy Christmas, I have cancer!" but those thoughts are honestly quite rare. What presences me to it more than anything else is when I hear of another's diagnosis. Most recently, I found out about a 5-year old boy in our community who was diagnosed with cancer - nine tumors found in his liver. My immediate response was tears. As Daniela spoke to his mother over the phone (for about 45 minutes), I must have sobbed three times, going back and forth from being broken hearted about this poor little fella to being at a complete loss about what his parents must be going through while they take care of their three-year old and a two month old. I have definitely become very sensitive to other people's "suffering" and I'm glad I have. Lately, I find myself to be quite present to how precious life is - this cancer has provided some beautiful things.

Overshare!!!

I have not posted anything in almost a week. Fortunately, I have been doing well and didn't feel there was much to report. Okay, that's a lie. Actually, my butt has been killing me from hemorrhoids and I really didn't think you wanted to know! O-Kaaaaaaaay. Bert's talking about his hemorrhoids... Bert have you ever heard of an OVERSHARE??? Well, you needn't worry. I will not be including any pictures of the said problem on this post (or any future posts for that matter). So, my butt has been killing me and I'm feeling significantly better with the use of my friend I love to hate - my donut pillow, homeopathic pain management, and for this week, two coffee breaks a day instead of three. I also have a new found place in my heart for anyone suffering from a serious case of 'roids. Dear God - this stuff can hurt! I had NO idea.

Breaking Out of the Shell...I Hope

I feel like I'm coming alive again. I have energy and I am feeling well. Last week I felt terrible. This week I feel good. Amazing how this goes back & forth and up & down. Each time I hope I can finally be over what seems now like the "initiation into Gerson Therapy" - the three to six months of on-going detox flare-ups. Yes, I recently found out the flare-ups can last up to six months. Oh wouldn't that be a joy!

And since I've been feeling better, I wrote a song the other day. Then today I worked on it with a friend and he added his input. It felt great to collaborate on some music. I'm breaking out of the (bed rest) shell. At least for a minute...

Latest Healing Reactions

So, I've been in a bit of a funk for the past week or so. I've felt much more introverted than I felt a week or so ago. I haven't been calling many people or returning calls - or at least not promptly. And I've also been sore. The tumor area just doesn't seem to be letting up lately - aching when I wake up more times than not and then aching at various, random times throughout the day. For pain management, I use ice packs or castor oil packs which are relatively effective. I have also received trigger point body work which has made a huge difference.

Two nights ago, I woke up at 4:20 AM with abdominal pain. I went down stairs so to not wake up Beau and then it really hit me. Pain. Dull but intense pain that felt like a spoon (with no regard for my feelings!) was forcibly trying to find its way out of the right side of the front of my ribcage, then slowly easing its way to the middle of my body only to find its way out the back of the back of my ribcage, while of course still trying to find its way out the front. Needless to say, it was extremely painful. It lasted for about an hour then away its went. What I haven't said is this is the second time this happened in just a few weeks. To answer your question, YES, I called the good doctor in Mexico and asked him what (the hell) was going on... For all I knew, this was my introduction to another new and exciting health problem. I definitely a little freaked out.

Dr. Cervantes said it was a completely normal healing reaction. He said I was passing something, very likely, out of my liver. Believe it or not, it was very reassuring. Reassuring because I could be at ease and know that it was directly related to the therapy. Not exactly something I'm looking forward to, but at least I know it's just part of the process. And knowing that will make it a little more tolerable next time...if there's a next time. Though if I have any say, I suppose I'll pass and opt for something more along the lines of lethargy.

Enema Excerpt from "Healing the Gerson Way"

In my October 2, 2007 entry, I mentioned the fact that enemas are not a cultural norm around these parts. Well, I found this excerpt from Charlotte Gerson's book "Healing the Gerson Way" to be very interesting.

Generally speaking, any kind of enema introduces a substance into the rectum in order to empty the bowel, or to administer nutrients or drugs. It is a medical procedure of great antiquity: Hippocrates, the Greek “father of modern medicine” prescribed water enemas for several conditions some 2600 years ago. In India, enemas were recommended for inner cleansing by Patanjali, author of the first written work on yoga, in around 200 B.C. According to tradition, the ibis, a sacred bird of Ancient Egypt associated with wisdom, used to administer itself an enema with its long curved beak. It is only in recent times, and mainly in English-speaking countries, that this simple and safe cleansing method had fallen into disuse.

The use of coffee as enema material began in Germany towards the end of World War I. (1914-1918).The country was blockaded by the Allies, many essential goods—among them morphine—were not available, yet trainloads of wounded soldiers kept arriving at field hospitals, needing surgery. The surgeons had barely enough morphine to dull the pain of the operations, but none to help patients endure the post-surgical pain; all they could do was to order water enemas to be used. Although owing to the blockade coffee was in short supply, there was plenty of it around to help the surgeons stay awake during their long spells of duty. The nurses, desperate to ease their patients’ pain, began to pour some of the leftover coffee into the enema buckets, figuring that since it helped the surgeons (who drank it), the soldiers (who didn’t) would also benefit from it. And indeed the soldiers reported pain relief.

This accidental discovery came to the attention of two medical researchers, Professors Meyer and Huebner, at the University of Goettingen in Germany, who went on to test the effects of rectally infused caffeine on rats. They found that the caffeine, traveling via the hemorrhoidal vein and the portal system to the liver, opened up the bile ducts, allowing the liver to release accumulated toxins. This observation was confirmed seventy years later, in 1990 by Dr. Peter Lechner, oncologist surgeon at the District Hospital of Graz, Austria, after running a six-year controlled test on cancer patients following a slightly modified version of the Gerson Therapy. In his report, he quotes independent laboratory results, identifying the two components of coffee that play the major role in detoxifying the liver. (see Chapter 8, pg. 75)

Dr. Gerson became aware of the benefits of enemas early on in developing his treatment, and they have remained a cornerstone of his therapy to this day. It is important to realize that while the patient is holding the coffee enema in his or her colon for the suggested 12-15 minutes, the body’s entire blood supply passes through the liver every three minutes, i.e., 4-5 times in all, carrying poisons picked up from the tissues. These are then released through the bile ducts, due to the stimulation of the caffeine.

Top Ten Best Things About Gerson Therapy

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#2 Gerson Therapy uses fresh juice
#1 Gerson Therapy Cures Cancer

Yeah. There's not much I like about Gerson Therapy outside of the amazing results people have using it to cure themselves of cancer. And that's a lot to like about something. And...it leaves a lot to be desired.

It's a tough therapy. Extremely limited diet which has a huge impact on the patient; the patient is connected to a juicer from 8 AM to 7 PM; did I mention extremely limited diet?

Believe it or not the enema is not a big hurdle as it would seem. Granted, I have to stay focused when I do them - my detection system has a tumor on it, so it's not exactly fail proof - it can interfere with the process. And yes, enemas did take some serious getting used to. Let's be honest - coffee in the butt ain't exactly a cultural norm in these parts. But to tell you the truth, more often than not, if I'm not feeling well before I do an enema, I feel much better after I do. Yet, even with that being said, I still don't think I'm ready to include enemas on my Top Ten list. Actually, that would be my Top Three list...

In Other News...

So, about seven years ago, some friends of mine in a band called "10 Ft Ganga Plant" (no, I had nothing to do with the name!) recorded a record called "Presents" (the verb not the noun) that would later be released by Roir Records (pronounced "roar"). I was invited to record a song I wrote called "Top Down" which I did. The song did not make it onto the original release. However, "Top Down" did make it onto the "10 Ft Ganga Plant - Presents" rereleased CD which was released in 2007, and is currently for sale on iTunes and as well as hard copy CDs.

So, what does this have to do with how I am doing? Well, today I randomly decided to search iTunes for my track for the fun of it...and found my song on the list of 36 choices for the song "Top Down"(popular song name - who knew?) I have to tell you, with all that is going on in my life right now, finding my song for sale on iTunes put one hell of a big smile on my face. I knew there was a CD for sale, but I never bothered to put two and two together and consider that it would be so easily accessible. Maybe I'm just a little behind the (digital) times, but it feels kind of cool for a small time musician like myself to have a song for sale on iTunes.

Right now my cheeks are getting a little sore because my smile won't go away... So check it out on iTunes or via this link to CD Baby.

Americana Jubilee

I stopped in to the Americana Jubilee late this afternoon and caught the end of the El Caminos' set and the first half of the Dregs' set. Great music by both bands. I wish I could have stayed for the rest of the night. It's happening as I'm typing this and I'm sure Richie Sterns is doing beautiful things. If you were there after I left, sorry I missed you and thank you for showing up.

Dustin and all the bands...thanks a million.

Donuts Anyone???

This afternoon, I traded in my pride for...a donut pillow. Aka, a butt pillow. Ooh, I feel your envy rushing through the screen. Contain yourself if you can. Actually, to tell you the truth, I was overjoyed at the relief I felt - physically, not emotionally. This is still a butt pillow were talking about here!!! All kidding aside, the physical relief was quite significant. When I go to an appointment, I can now arrive and not be sore as all git out. So, enjoy the opportunity to yuck it up while you can (and I will laugh with you) because the minute I don't need this thing...it's going on eBay!!!!

Anyway, speaking of relief, I have made some progress lately. When I first arrived home, I could not lift a full gallon container without feeling pain in the tumor area. Now, I can lift a full gallon container with no pain or discomfort of any kind. It's a great sign.

Saturday's Americana Jubilee Benefit!!!

This Saturday September 29th, the 3rd Annual Americana Jubilee will be at the Rongo (aka the Rongovian Embassy to the World) in Trumansburg, NY. For more information, see the post from
September 5, 2007.

The Americana Jubilee is a fantastic event and very much worth going to. I just might make an appearance around 3 PM. Maybe I'll see you there!

Gerson on YouTube

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/user/GersonTherapy

The Gerson Institute is on YouTube. I find this to be very exciting! Heck, I haven't even done more than glance at it because I wanted to get the url posted so you can check it out. Enjoy!

So, now I'm back (5 minutes later) adding to this posting. I just watched the video at the top of their page and it's very moving and a little scary at that.

Correction (as per the Boss)

Daniela informed me that the photo I posted on September 25, 2007, was not a good photo of me, so I replaced it with a different one from the day before (or after). Of course, Beau is still included.

Healthier Than I've Been in Years (well...kinda)

Lately, a few folks who have come to the house for the first time since I was diagnosed, have expressed a little surprise that I look so healthy. They acknowledge their expectation that I will look maybe a little gaunt and without color. So, I thought I'd let you in on something. Gerson Therapy, as a cleansing therapy, is not just healing my body of cancer. The therapy is healing my entire body from head to toe so my body can heal itself of cancer and anything that thought it might take roost in my body.

Now, keep in mind, I am still dealing with the discomforts of rectal cancer: ice packs for soreness along with very little sitting and much more laying down or sitting in a slanted position. Yet outside of the unhealthiness of the cancer itself, I am in many ways, healthier than I have been in years. With that being said, I have included a photo of myself today.

Skinny?...Oh, yeah.

Gaunt?...Not even close.

Correction

Correction to September 22, 2007 entry:

This morning I realized that during last nights dinner, the emotion I was overwhelmed with was not sadness, it was more of yearning - a yearning for relief. Sure relief from having cancer [yuck!], and a huge part of it is yearning for something delicious, but lately my biggest struggle is accepting what it takes for Daniela to manage my therapy on top of a 10-month old baby and a 9-year old boy. Yes, I do help out with the kids, but that says it right there. I help out with the kids vs. the two of us raising them together. I simply can't move around like any parent of a 10-month old needs to in order to keep him entertained yet safe. Daniela has an extremely busy, intensely scheduled life in order for all of this to work. You're an incredible mama and the greatest wife in the world. I could not have a better person partnering in this therapy with me. You're an angel and I love you.

Fingers Crossed

Well, after writing the last blog entry on September 18, 2007 about wishing for a walk, I went as far as I could with my desire to go for a walk and settled for a very short drive with Daniela up to a field where we have gone for many walks in the past. We parked the car and sat on a blanket and soaked up the fresh air and a little sunshine here and there. We brought baby Beau and Max. It was such a treat. And...there was only one bug!

On another note, dinner was a disappointment. I found myself with a pretty good appetite, yet no desire to eat what sat before me. Again came my massive desire for comfort food (i.e., ANYTHING THAT I ACTUALLY DESIRE EATING!!!). I looked at my plate and could feel my throat contract. I ate a bite of my baked potato and nearly gagged. Okay...no potato this evening. I tried the spinach and actually made it through a few bites only to find my throat constricted at the thought of any more. So, I drank my soup as quickly as I could and that was that.

The emotions that went along with this lack of appetite - correction: lack of desire to eat from my Gerson menu - were the same ones that hit me the last time I was going through this. I certainly wouldn't call it overwhelmed, but more like pumped full of emotion - emotion that felt like a slew of tears were waiting to burst out of my face. I noticed they were there and available if I was up for it. Instead, I chose to just ignore it and stick with a blank stare at a plate of...well...food.

It still amazes me - and disappoints me - that there is such a powerful connection between emotion and food. I was imagining all types of delicious, greasy junk food sitting in front of me. Heavens knows I would probably be sick as a dog if I ate like that right now (not that I would!), but man-oh-man my mind was just going crazy thinking about not just junk food, but anything and everything that I would LOVE to eat, had I not committed myself to the Gerson Therapy. Hell, I'd probably cry tears of joy if I could just eat a single bowl of Cheerios!!!...and get away with it...

Well, it's time for me to turn off the computer and go eat my yogurt. whi-hew. yogurt. Ah, well. Tomorrow's another day and all this may just be gone when I wake up...[fingers crossed].

If I Could Do Anything Right Now...

The thought crossed my mind pretty randomly this morning: If I could do anything right now...?...I would go for a walk. I would tuck in my shirt (just like my Dad used to always tell me to do - not like I ever listened to him back then) put on a nice warm sweater so I stay good and warm, grab a little snack to take with me, and take a long quiet walk along the same roads I've walked countless times since we moved here. I would find myself a wide open space where the sun could warm my face to the point that I forget it's even cold outside. And I would watch the wind blow across the fields and into the trees - it's so beautiful. Eventually, I would lay on my back and stare into the sky for what always seems like hours. And then my simple time of solitude would suddenly end either because a bug crawled on me or because I mistook one too many blades of grass rubbing on my hand or face for a bug that I have very little interest in. No, I don't really care for bugs crawling on my skin, even when I am 1,000 miles away from myself staring into the sky.

That's one of the few reasons why I enjoy winter. I love getting bundled up in my snow gear and finding a nice peaceful place where I can lay down on my back and stare into the endless black sky. It's quiet and peaceful and the sounds of human chaos are muffled by a thick heavy blanket of snow. I can lay there as long as I want to staring at the stars because I know that no bugs will crawl on my skin.

However, since you don't get descent warmth without some risk of bugs, at least around here, I would take a walk today and watch the first of the Autumn leaves change color. Soon it will be followed by the smell of dry fallen leaves and the sound of them as they crunch under my feet, along with an occasional dried up twig as it snaps hidden under all the leaves and lets me know that Old Man Winter is on his way. Trying to describe it just takes me away. It's tough to describe something so beautiful. No, I'm still not a big fan of bugs, but it's pretty up here in Upstate New York.

It's Getting Better All the Time

Today I spoke to Liam (a friend from Ireland who I met at the Baja Clinic) and I just found out about his incredible success. This is a man who was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma - it had metastasized to two lymph nodes in his groin, a third outside his stomach and a fourth in his chest. He was given 6 months to live, unless he did chemotherapy & radiation for which they gave him 18 months to live. His oncologist told him to get his finances in order.

It has been just under four months since Liam started the Gerson Therapy and three of the four tumors have vanished!!!

My conversation with Liam today gave me a new found hope. I've said it before and I'll say it again - this stuff works! I have a very clear vision of the future that I am living into: 100% healed & fully in tact. Yes, my mind does tend to keep sneaking disempowering thoughts into my head when I'm not paying attention and then I snap out of it and put myself back into a positive space. Just this morning after I spoke to Liam, my creative mind had already found an opportunity to question whether this will work for me. As if it's searching for an opportunity to bring me down. Fortunately, I have no question that this therapy works for me. And yes, I do believe that our minds have two side sides to them - that which empowers us and that which disempowers us - and we get to choose which we want to listen to.

However, I have also begun to see patterns in both my body's reactions to the therapy as well as my mind's response to these reactions. My body's response to the therapy isn't much different than it was in the beginning, yet my mind is happy to try and find opportunities to steer me down a disempowering path. However, the disempowering thoughts in my mind are starting to occur as annoying background noise. It won't be long before the cancer in my body starts to disappear.

Congratulations on your hard work and incredible attitude Liam! The joy in your family is apparent and I am incredibly happy for you!!! Brilliant!!!!!!!!

Finally Up to Speed

I finally feel like I'm up to speed. The various agents that were injected into me - radioactive sugar & then iodine - and whatever it was I was required to drink in order to do the scan, left me feeling like I had a four alarm hangover from the mornings of my far more recreational years - yet it was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon. And whether I ever had a hangover at 4 o'clock in the afternoon is nothing I plan on disclosing anytime soon. I imagine being so cleaned out from this therapy has resulted in my body being far more sensitive to the slew of chemicals that went inside me then it was during my first set of scans.

Prior to the scans, I was reading every morning and afternoon. Since the scans (on Friday), I have only read once and that was today. In the mean time, I have been watching movies and old television programs. It seems easiest to lay staring at the TV until my head is clear. Not that I have a problem with watching movies - it just surprised me that the scans had such an impact on me. I'm glad there will be no more anytime soon!

Holiday Cards

So to respond to comments and email questions I have received about my September 10th entry:

A sigmoidoscopy can provide more perspective. And, it can also irritate the tumor and cause increased bleeding (i.e., possibly damage the tumor) which will impede my ability to do the Gerson Therapy. Specifically, I would be at risk of not being able to do coffee breaks/enemas.

If enemas were done in our ears, doing a sigmoidoscopy would be a no brainer. At this point, as long as the cancer has not grown, I won't take any unnecessary risks and jeopardize my ability to implement the therapy. We can do camera in the butt for Christmas. Heck, I could even use the images for a holiday card! Or maybe a New Years letter.

Pain in My Butt

I have decided to post-pone my sigmoidoscopy. The test results on Friday say a lot and I don't think it's wise to stick a camera into my rectum if I don't need to (kind of a no brainer, huh?). It's an invasive procedure and could very possibly cause irritation to the tumor (which apparently hasn't fled yet).

Bold little thing isn't it. It's amazing that a tumor - something that receives, very likely, no love whatsoever it's entire life - will forge ahead as long as it possibly can. Like a shark without a mother. Unbelievable. Well, what are you gonna do?

Maybe I'll do a sigmoidoscopy in the future...

The Fire Has Been Contained

I have received the results from my PT & CAT scans: the cancer has had ZERO growth since I was originally diagnosed. That is incredible news. Rectal Cancer grows at a rate of one stage per year and it has been six-months since I was diagnosed. Zero growth since that time? The Gerson Therapy is definitely working.

Now, you may wonder why the cancer in my body has been contained while others have had the growth reversed. Well, there are two reasons:
1) I am only doing 10 juices out the 13 because
2) I am only doing 3 coffee breaks a day and only 25% of the coffee in my coffee breaks - in other words, in each coffee break, I do 4 oz. of coffee (plus chamomile & aloe) while my fellow patients from the clinic are doing something like 16 oz. of coffee & 1 oz. of water.

So, the fire has been contained - now it's just a matter of putting it out. And with that in mind, I plan to meet with Dr. Cervantes this week and request that my current therapy plan be intensified so that the cancer starts to disappear.

I have yet to be excited about the test results. However, I do feel very much at ease and far more relaxed about the whole process than I did Friday afternoon. I am greatly relieved to know that now it's only a matter of time.

Welcome Maryam

Maryam started with us on Sunday. Jackie trained Maryam on Sunday and Monday and she is off to a great start. It's wonderful to have Maryam with us. We look forward to a healthy future with her.

Update

I have a CAT scan and a PT scan scheduled for Friday September 7th. I expect results early next week. I also have a pre-
sigmoidoscopy meeting with a gastro-intestinal doctor on Wednesday September 12th.

Bert on a Stick

I am happy and surprised to say that my appetite is back. Can you believe it? I haven't had a real appetite since I first got to the clinic. And now I eat everything that is served to me and then more between meals. Unfortunately, I no longer challenge my siblings for the opportunity to don the crown of the King of the Clean Plate Club [I believe those regal days ended when I was about 10 years old].

Anyway, I am hoping I put on a little weight while I am at it. I am not underweight, although, I am back down to the weight I was in the early 90's: 127 lbs. Yup. If you didn't know me then, you probably don't know that I was quite thin. I look like "Bert on a Stick." The only danger is that I am nearly invisible unless you look at me head-on. I also fear that on a windy fall day, I just might be blown away never to be seen again! Ah, the woes of Gerson Therapy.

Americana Jubilee - A Benefit Concert

The Americana Jubilee III

a one day mini-festival celebrating the Americana music of the Finger Lakes Region

Saturday Sept. 29th from 3PM to 1AM

at The Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg, NY

On Saturday September 29th, the local community will have the opportunity to celebrate the Americana music of the Finger Lakes Region at the Rongovian Embassy in Trumansburg, NY. The Americana Jubilee III is in its third year and will feature numerous local musicians on two stages with performances rotating between the electric stage and the acoustic stage, thus providing 10 hours of continuous music.

This year's event will be a fund raiser for the Bert Scholl Fund. Bert Scholl is a local musician who is currently battling cancer using costly alternative methods that are not covered by health insurance. Bert was the master of ceremonies at last year's Jubilee and performed in it with his band Route 5 the year prior. The Americana Jubilee will be sponsored by Ithaca Beer who will be providing Ithaca Beer specials. Entrance to the event will be $7.

Performance Line-Up
3:00 Regina O'Brien
4:00 The El Caminos
5:00 The Dregs
6:00 Chicken Tractor
7:00 Juge Greenspun
8:00 Urban Horse Thieves
9:00 The Common Railers
10:00 The MacGuillicuddies
11:00 Richie Stearns
12:00 Hubcap

If you are unable to attend and would still like to make a contribution,all donations will be graciously received at:

The Bert Scholl Fund

c/o Jane Schantz

48 Marsh Road
Ithaca, NY 14850

Thank you to every one of you have contributed to us in any way, shape or form. Without you, none of this would be possible.

We Love You...and we will miss you!!!

Yesterday was Jackie's last day with us. It was a very emotional day for all of us. Jackie did more than just work for us. For three months Jackie became a part of our family - with us every step of the way. She was with us when the day would begin and she was with us when the day ended. She stepped up to the plate when we had no one to cover the shifts when what she wanted to do was go somewhere... anywhere quiet and far away from juicers, crying babies, the chopping of veggies and the momentary looks of insanity from Daniela as she couldn't imagine how we were going to get through this (keeping in mind that my looks of insanity were from the comfort of the couch as I read wonderful books and drank freshly squeezed juice!).

Jackie took on whatever needed to be done - standing by Daniela's side - as the two of them occasionally found themselves with no idea how to pull everything together, and yet they did. She brought joy and laughter (and one sick sense of humor - very nice I might add) into our home at a time when we could not have needed it more. I could go on and on about how Jackie contributed to us in so many ways, but I believe what would put it best is:

Jackie, what you did for us is what any person would do for someone they loved in order to keep that person alive. You barely knew us, yet you came onto our home and took on that commitment and did for us what few people can ever understand. For that we will be forever grateful to you Jackie. Forever. As much as we will miss having you in our home, we look forward to hearing from you about what you have created in what we know will be an incredible life.

We love you.

Vivienne

My sister, Vivienne, was here for five days to visit. It was an absolute joy to have her here. It was the first time I have seen her since I was diagnosed and she hasn't been here since last winter. We had a wonderful time together as we always do. It was quite difficult to see her go.

Thanks

I am feeling much better lately, though I am still quite tired throughout each day. I definitely have been feeling like some change is happening - some positive change. Especially since I have been tired a lot - it's a good detox sign. As I have been resting, I have been reading a lot of books followed by regular naps as often as my body needs it. I have to say I have finally found comfort in being on bed rest. In fact, I am finally absolutely comfortable resting and being taken care of day after day. It's a treat to be guilt free throughout this process. And, as always, I am incredibly grateful for all that is provided to me.

It is an amazing experience watching all of you wonderful folks return week after week to help us with all the food prep we have. In fact, without your help, this would in no way be possible for us. We have been blessed with an incredible community of generous people.

Thank you to each of you who have provided us your time here at the house, your wonderful cards, your prayers and your financial contributions. Each of you have made it possible for my family to make this therapy a reality for me. We are incredibly grateful to all of you. I sometimes wonder if you can even imagine what it means to us and the difference you are making. We love you.

Feeling Better

I figured out why I was experiencing this "new pain" I mentioned in my August 27th entry. I had been soaking in a hot tub every day for about the last week. Two days ago, I stopped the hot baths to see if it would make a difference. Well, it did. It seems the added heat to my body was affecting the area where the tumor was found [I'm no longer going to refer to the said tumor in present tense, since for all I know, it's packed its bags and sailed to China and I'm just dealing with the after effects].

While at the clinic, I learned that hot baths are used to increase the temperature of the blood. This will expand the blood vessels, which in my case, is a bad idea because what ever is happening in my rectum then becomes less protected since expanded blood vessels can rupture when irritated [pass!]. So, no more baths for me unless I can handle a cool bath which almost seems like a good idea...almost. And in the mean time, my pain has nearly vanished.

Update

I've been feeling a lot of discomfort lately: my legs have ached every day for the last week or so from the hips down - muscles & joints (oddly enough). Right now the bottoms of my feet hurt along with minor leg aches; I am having a lot of discomfort where the cancer was located last Spring - soreness and pretty consistent aching; my sacrum stings every morning when I wake up (then I ice it and the pain subsides...usually).

So, naturally, I have been getting a little curious about these aches and pains, and sometimes a little concerned. And then...I spoke to the husband of my friend who started Gerson Therapy the same time I did - the one I mentioned in my August 24, 2007 entry, whose cancer is going away. He told me that his wife was in a lot of pain prior to finding out that the cancer was going away. She was in enough pain consistently that she began to question the therapy (sounds familiar), only to remember what they teach us at the clinic: Gerson Therapy is not comfortable. Gerson Therapy can hurt. It's all a part of the detox/healing process. So, what I am experiencing is very likely my body healing. It feels like it is and that means a lot.

I currently have a sigmoidoscopy, CAT scan & PET scan being scheduled for mid-September to find out how my healing process is going. I am very much looking forward to these tests, especially after hearing about how well my friend is doing.